Engel was browsing through other people's online journal when he chanced upon a regular read's latest post. Something about discovering their worst kept secrets (from hiding porn in the computer or condoms in jacket pockets). It made him realize that just like that blogger, Engel too is sloppy in terms of hiding taboo stuff.
Now he's wondering if his parents or if other people have already found out about what he's been keeping inside his room.
Engel is close to his parents, they talk to him about everything that's been going on in their life, their neighbor's life, and even about the life of people he doesn't even know. But unfortunately, Engel is not the same about his. He knows that his parents already have an inkling about his preference, but until he tells them, or they ask him directly, they'll just leave it as it is.
As mentioned above, he's sloppy with regard to leaving evidence in his room. You'd find condom packs in his perfume closet, his wardrobe, in his clutch bag. His porn is hidden in plain sight, and his cd collection is scattered all around his room, you just know where to look.
It's actually a miracle his father hasn't approached him yet about any of those stuff. He's pretty sure at one point, he'd have found out about some of those things.
They've commented about Engel being 50/50 before, so they probably know. Is it just respect? Denial? Their only son is not even really a son.
He has no plans of coming out. Engel's not even sure if he's going to go through an alternate lifestyle. He still thinks of having a family. Children. The whole nine yards.
But will he be able to, when all the things that makes him who he is, is just lying around his room.
6 months ago