Thursday, January 28, 2010


I remember a few years back, I was forced to open up to this person where I worked. Apparently her gaydar was stronger than those of the real gay guys in the office. She just asked me point blank, if I am gay. I don't know what I was thinking but I said yes. I could've denied it, but I didn't.

But what irked me about what happened, was not that she asked me, but how she reacted. She asked me why I'm not like the other gay people in the office. I was like, 'what the fuck?!'
Stereotyping much?

Okay, I'm gay but...

Yeah, I don't want to be a girl. Not all gay people wants to be one. I'm happy with how I look. I don't wear girls dresses. I have never imagined myself (maybe that one time - no - nope not once) did I see myself dress like a girl. Oh God, me in a dress. Sends shivers up my spine. Ugh.

Not that anyone calls me that. I guess the advantage of not having gay friends is that I don't get called that. I don't think it's going to be an issue with me if you call me that. I just won't turn around.

I'm not a screaming faggot. You won't ever see me walking around the office being I don't know, gay. I joke around, throw inappropriate words every once in awhile. But mostly, I'm this shy reserved guy. I'm actually, really quiet.

I don't have alot of gay friends, so I'm not exposed to the language. I can comprehend the simple stuff, but if you go all gaga on me, chances are, I'll only say 'okay'. And it's very doubtful you'll hear me speak gay. It wouldn't come off natural. I even find it awkward saying churva.

I guess all that I'm saying is that I'm pretty much boring. =)


anteros' dominion said...

i dont think youre boring (though hindi tayo nagkakakilala ng personal)

i think laid back is the term

rudeboy said...

Ah, I like this post and this topic.

I think a lot of people get the idea that to be gay is to be loud and queeny and swishy simply because our more effeminate brethren are the most visible and most vocal specimens of our kind. On TV, the movies, and in the streets, the stereotypical bakla is the most familiar ambassadress of gayhood.

Which becomes a source of consternation and embarrassment for some of us.

I can sense this is going to turn into a whole blog post so maybe I shall reserve my thoughts until they gel into a more coherent whole and link it to yours, engel.

For now, let's just say that there is NO ONE WAY to BE or ACT gay. It's just that the stereotypical way is the one that most people are more exposed to and therefore that becomes the picture of us.

But to change that picture, more and more gay men who are just "regular guys" who happen to like other men must present a different face of gayhood to the world.

But for that to happen, a lot of closets must be opened.

A bit of a problem for some, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

We are who we are. Why try to be someone that you're not? Lets just live and let live.

You go girl! hehe =)

theLastJedi said...

' hmm.. as always, your life's complications are brought about by your simplicity..
- the jedi shall be back soon.. =)

Galen said...

non-straights have different perspectives on how to live the "life" At the very end, two things matter.

1. How open and accepting you are to those who doesn't share your values.

2. How truthful you are to your preference. :)

Manech said...

Almost everything I wanted to say has been said, so I'll just settle for this:

"I even find it awkward saying churva."

That line made me laugh. :D

Dhon said...

tell that girl in your office
"how old are you?"

only old people would stereotype gays those who wear dresses and works in parlors.

lee said...

to each his own :)

what's wrong with stereotyping is that it boxes and does not realize the diversity of people of certain preferences.

Herbs D. said...

shit. i didnt know you were gay. omg. lol. i kid. i kid.

The Constant Bonsaist said...

i agree with rudeboy.

you are not boring, engel. the stereotypical gay personality is really not just your preference. *wink*

Justine said...

when i told my closest officemates about the other me they just smiled and said it's okay and i didn't have to explain because they understood everything already

Darc Diarist said...

lol @ herbs

agree with lee, to each his own. shouldn't be boxed into expectations. and that's what makes you interesting engel. you are not boxed, there's layers to sift through :)

citybuoy said...

there's room for everyone in this world. :D it's our differences that make us unique.

Fumbler said...


Anonymous said...

i used to think, too, that i am boring. but everytime i say it aloud, everyone objects. hahaha


Mr. Pink Tie said...

Not exhibiting those aforementioned characteristics doesn't equate to being boring :) iba iba naman tayo diba? to each his own haha.

MkSurf8 said...

sizzthur! kever lang! hahahaha

putik natawa ako sa word verif: "angeygo"

Yes, ang gay ko! choz! lol!

Bryan Anthony said...

attachment to form: it's the cannibalistic feature of the ego. stereotypes are one of its salient symptoms.


Angelo said...

nice post. :)

could totally relate. it's amusing that at this age of ultra-modern technology, a lot of people still think primitive. hehe! :)