Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Relationships (or failed ones in that matter) reminded me that I wasn't prepared to enter one. It may have been because of me, or it could have been because of the partner. One shouldn't put blame on anyone if relationships don't work. It is possible that it's not the right time or you two just aren't meant to be.

What's important is that you learn something from it. I have had plenty of failed relationships. And with that some realizations about the things I have to change. To I guess prepare myself for when the right one comes.
  • Start trusting your partner more. Don't be paranoid specially if that person isn't giving you any reason to be.
  • Be careful when uttering the words 'I love you.' Those three words are the easiest to say, but it's the most difficult to mean.
  • Everything starts with kilig. But it doesn't mean that it'll last. You know you really love the person when you still enjoy the presence of him long after the kilig is gone.
  • Relationships shouldn't be complicated. We only make things one. If you love that person, then you love that person. No what if's. No but's. It should just be simple.
  • Before anything else, the first person I should love is myself.
  • There's nothing wrong with giving your partner too much of your love. That's fine. But don't expect everything you give will be given back to you in return.
  • I shouldn't keep my feelings too much to myself. If I have a problem, I should learn to talk to my partner. I'm not a girl, and my partner's not a psychic.
  • I should learn to appreciate more the things that my partner does for me.
  • I should exert more effort as well in keeping the relationship working. I shouldn't give up on the first sign that things aren't working. Trying is not just a word.
  • And one more thing, I need to learn to approach the people that I like. Adoring your crush from a distance is not going to bring me anywhere. I should act on it too.
I'm not sure if I'm ready to look for another one. These things, they aren't easy. And heartbreaks are always difficult. But then again, we don't know when we're going to meet the one.

But there's nothing wrong with preparing for the one now. Who knows, he maybe just around the corner.


The Constant Bonsaist said...

I stopped being idealistic.

I just fall in love ...

then loving. =)

rudeboy said...

Intelligent and beautiful insights, engel.

'Ika nga ni Alanis:

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

. said...

And one more thing, I need to learn to approach the people that I like. Adoring your crush from a distance is not going to bring me anywhere. I should act on it too.

A little caution though, if your crush doesn't have any feelings for you, there is a great possibility that distance and a breakdown of friendship is imminent.

Been there, done that, and the cost it wrecked on friendship is too high a price.


engel said...

joms: of course. i've learned from past mistakes. that part is of course only applicable dun sa nagpaparamdam din. =)

rudeboy: i miss that song. need to download limewire na. =D

botanist: i've stopped being idealistic as well. but sometimes, in order for us to be better, we have to be ideal din for others. para mas madali tayo mahalin. =)

red the mod said...

There's no such thing as a perfect partner. But you can be perfect for each other. I know I am in no position to extrapolate on this, as I have been out of the game for over 4 years now.

There is a fine line between being idealistic and romantic. In fact, the Greek word for romantic means idealistic.

What's even harder is after you've learned so much, only to realize noone seems to be interested anymore. But don't worry, it'll come. In due time, and when you least expect it. It will fall into place, and make sense. And the lessons learned will be as valuable as ever.

Over 4 years, and I still believe this.

MkSurf8 said...

AMEN to red's "you can be perfect for each other"

appreciate the differences, celebrate the similarities =)

domjullian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
domjullian said...

andyan lang yun sa tabi-tabi nag hihintay.

kepp the love alive.

engel said...

domjullian: di naman ako nagmamadali. note to self ko lang to for when the time comes =)

mksurf8: i know, right! he always makes sense, kahit madalas nosebleed. =D

red: we're all romantics at heart, kahit pa sabihin mo there are people who are cynical about matters of the heart, they'll eventually fold when they meet the one. =)

we'll have our time red. patience is a virtue!!!

Chuckie said...

We'll burn the bridge when we get there. And yes, I'll make this a personal list na rin. Who knows anjan na pala siya ^____^

Chingoy said...

trying... nah..
doing... yes!

lee said...

the heartbreaks you've experienced has made you a better person for that "upcoming" special someone =D

and he'll come at the right time ;)

Darc Diarist said...

here's to that great love waiting for you! :)
as for adoring your crush from a distance... no comment. hehe

Andrei Alba said...


failed relationships let us learn things and let us know that new beginnings are for new endings.

Anonymous said...

failed attempts is still good in the sense that it teaches us what we need to learn.

trial and error lang naman ang pakikipagrelasyon. pag nagkamali ngayon, sa next, galingan pa para makapasa. hehe.

Alex said...

"Before anything else, the first person I should love is myself."

:D Sabi nila attractive daw ang mga taong ganto.

"Start trusting your partner more. Don't be paranoid specially if that person isn't giving you any reason to be."

Honestly, madalas akong ganto kahit n ndi pa ako ngkakaroon. :))

engel said...

alex: i think in short we need to lessen our insecurities. =)

maxwell: exactly, now the question is sino kaya papayag makipag trial and error with me? lolz =D

andrei: cliche man, but it's true.

darc: thanks. meron ka pa sasabihin, spill mo na. =)

lee: yep, just have to be patient, i guess. pero... never mind. =)

chingoy: naku, gustuhin ko man magtry, wala eh.

chuckie: if we only know your story. share ka naman chuckie! =D

citybuoy said...

these are really nice tips. maganda yan. your next lover will be very lucky.

i was saving this quote for a post pero i think nakuha mo na yung gusto ko sabihin so ishashare ko nalang.

it's from under the tuscan sun.

Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.

someday, engel, our trains will come.

Chuckie said...

@engel you will pretty soon! i'm just waiting for something to happen, an answer, a closure.

Anonymous said...

Engel! Congrats for these realizations. You have made a great leap in enumerating all these! Keep it up! Hahaha :p