Tuesday, September 22, 2009


I was asked by a colleague who knows that I'm an active blogger if it is possible for a person to fall in love just reading the works of others here in the blogosphere. I think she wants to use this as a means for her to find true love.

I immediately said yes. It is possible. I remember one time when I was still active with my old blog. I wrote about my imperfections and there was someone brave enough to ask me out on a date. It turns out the reader found me interesting. But I did not reply. I was writing as a straight guy back then.

Let's face it, this world is full of really talented writers, creative poets, romantics and uber cheesy bloggers. At one point or another, you'll find him or her attractive. Maybe not physically. But intellectually you find yourself fascinated and interested in the person behind the written works.

I think I'm being idealistic. I have honestly never heard of a love story that came out of blogging. I've never met a blogger who met someone and fell in love through this medium. Scratch that, I know of only one. They're a straight couple though, so they're really not that interesting.

But it is possible to be attracted with just the writer's words. If you ask me, I could name a few people in the blogosphere (not just on my bloglist here) that I'm attracted to intellectually. I like the way they write. I love their wordplays. I'm at awe with their wit and I'm spellbound by their stories. It's sort of a crush on a different level.

I've never met any of them personally, and other than exchanging comments here and there, we have no other means of communicating with each other.

Realistically speaking, I don't dwell too much on these crushes. I know most of the time, people who write under pseudonyms don't necessarily reflect what they really are in person. Sometimes a blog is just a way for a writer to become what he or she wants to be. When in real life they're far from what they say they are on their works.

This medium is still young. Alot has yet to happen. If history taught us one important lesson is that nothing really is impossible. I'd be lying if I say I'm not hoping to find the one here. Although, that's not the main purpose of my putting up this home of mine. But if finding the one here is what is fated, then that's just the icing on the cake.


Jay Quiambao said...

I too am easily attracted with guys who have incredible wit and intelligence.

Anonymous said...

yes, it is possible. been there, done that. haha. ;)

and yes, what writers write on their blogs does not totally equate to what they really are in the real world. they sometimes add a little bit of romance or spunk just so it could be interesting.

rudeboy said...

I find intelligence to be a major turn-on, myself. However, while writing well is definitely a talent that requires a certain level of intelligence, it is just one of many kinds.

I am beyond salvation when it comes to mathematics, so I have only awe, admiration, and respect for anyone who can do long division. But since my eyes glaze over after being exposed to the joys of sets for more than 5 minutes, I tend to stick to writers, artists, and philosophers. That way our intellectual intercourse involves things I actually understand, appreciate, and can contribute to.

Math whizzes are gods. And I am most unworthy of their polynomials.

Eternal Wanderer... said...

Caveat emptor: not all online personalities translate well into real life ;)

rude: why do long division when you can always use synthetic? faster, less figures to copy, lesser chance of being careless ;)

Knox Galen said...

Intelligence attracts people, but in the end, it's the physical chemistry that really matters.

As they say, words are just words.

rudeboy said...

@ Eternal Wanderer : Because I like it long, and I like it natural?

@ Knox: Interesting point there. Looks trump Brains most of the time, but it depends on what one is after: LTR, or just a booty call.

I've been attracted to smart guys without having the slightest interest in seeing them naked. I've also drooled over hot guys whose stupidity was mind-boggling.

As for words just being words - thank you for a post idea.

Knox Galen said...

Rudeboy: This past one year has been a learning experience. As a result, I will be more defensive when words assault my defenses.

As for attraction, it depends on what our goals are. If its just a booty call, I'd rather use my physical advantage to further my goal. For friendship, I'd use those I keep behind my overtly sexual personality.

And for the prospects of settling down, I cannot deny that intensity causes most of my fall-outs. I guess this is the reason why I am still better off as a friend.

Anonymous said...

Knox and to all others,

I beg to disagree. It is the reverse of your statement.

To gain interest with what you see is just the beginning. To sustain the interest, you need intelligence.


Yodz said...

Love really works in mysterious ways then huh..
Intellect is really a plus, if you're on the same wavelength.
Sometimes it's more exciting to be with somebody who is "shallow"
BTW, yeah I got a crush with somebody, haven't met before, thru her blog. But she's married.. (sigh!)

<*period*>; said...

engel, naiinis ako sa post na ito,,kasi tinamaan ako...tsk.peace!

akala ko nuong una, impossible na ma-attract ako dahil lang sa pagsusulat ng isang tao.

hindi pala.

kasi no matter what i do, everything leads me back to him...

akala ko manhid na ako, but this post proves my defense is still weak

sana libog lang ito na puwedeng ilabas sa pamamagitan ng isang pakikipagtalamitan kay marya

rudeboy said...

@ goodboi : "To gain interest with what you see is just the beginning. To sustain the interest, you need intelligence."

I like this.

@Yodz : It's fun to be shallow sometimes. I also don't mind stupidity in a booty call; after all, it's not like we're gettin' married or anything.

engel said...

Thanks for voicing out your opinions. I never thought a very interesting discussion would result from this post.

But I do agree with most of the points you've raised. But in any case, in the end, it's always going to be your choice.

Physical chemistry, intellectual compatibility, all of that's important when sizing your prospect for a relationship (regardless if he/she's a blogger or not). But it would still be your decision if you'll call or you'll fold. What's important is you enjoy the game.

singularity said...

It's funny and strange at the same time how people see the same thing differently. But the question is, "what is there to see differently?" The packaging? or the soul inside the packaging? Sometimes, what people think of as a flaw, is what actually makes something or someone special. Every good and perfect gift comes from God. Often times, we as humans stop and gaze using our imperfect sight to label something or someone and thus, only end up ruining our expectations. Beautiful windows are lovely but they are of no good if they don't allow light to shine in.

domjullian said...

Blogspere is still superficial and indeed chemistry matters.

xtian1978ii said...

attitude matters big time. even if a person is very smart but has an attitude problem, very unattractive

citybuoy said...

agree with max. been there done that. it's possible. it's like dating in reverse. in the real world, you get attracted to someone physically first and then their intelligence and personality. with blogs, it's the other way around. it's unique and you're right, the medium is still relatively young. it's not like other forms of online dating where certain norms have been set.

wanderingcommuter said...

its possible. but i agree with knox, it depends on your intention and how you'll be able to sustain the fact that the persona of what or how he writes supersedes the superficiality of common romance.

Sonia said...

I liked this post, got me to thinking that if that were me, would I fall in love with just someone's words? I think I would. Writing well requires a lot of intellectual depth and intuition, and that is a very attractive feature.

But do you know what would be really cool? It would be if somebody who wrote really well online turned out to be your basketball player crush.. a perfect world, lang, I suppose. But still, it's a thought.