Followers

Saturday, September 12, 2009

ANECDOTES ON ATTRACTION

By the standard of good-looking, Engel probably wouldn't fall under that category. Specially with the PLU crowd. Speaking by experience, and he's not being bitter, he's turned off the ugliest gay guy he's known. Not that he's saying that he's ugly, because that's not true either.

What he is, is the 'but' guy. People tend to say, "Engel's cute, but..." or "he's handsome but..." He's that kind of guy.

And with that, he often attracts a different set of people. He's not complaining, he appreciates that. Boosts his ego a little and gives him a glimmer of hope that he won't end up being happy single. That he may be happy with someone in the future.

But then, like what was said earlier, he tends to attract a different kind of crowd when talking about those who crushes on him. This post may sound a little bratty, but you probably already know that he's an idiot. So bear with him, you've already read four paragraphs. What's a few more, right?

Going back to the topic, this post is supposed to enumerate people who, shall we say fell for Engel.

THE HOUSEHOLD HELP
Yeah, at one point in time, their neighbor's maid was really pining for him. He knows because the girl was very vocal about that. There was even one day when Engel got home from school, she called on him "kuya, gusto mo ng pan de coco?" sabay kindat. That kind of freaked him out a little. A lot actually. That was creepy. He found out later on that she eloped with some other neighbor's helper. He doesn't go out of the house anymore so he wouldn't know if he still has it. But he'd rather not know.

THE PARLORISTA
I have nothing against them, in all honesty. Engel's gay too, but they're just not his type. His friends told him to try them out, he could probably live off their generosity, but Engel's not that kind of guy. Anyway, a few years ago a block from their house was a beauty saloon ran by a couple of really colorful gays. The saloon was beside the basketball court so the owners really hit jackpot when it comes to men. But then one of the two parlorista's don't really bother with those sweaty players. He'd pick on Engel. Winking at him, blowing kisses, and offering free services (hair and facial and not another kind of service). Engel will often politely decline, but the gay guy would still not quit. So Engel just ignored him. One day the parlor closed down and never saw the guy again.

THE MATRON
A few weeks ago, Engel watched District 9 in Glorietta. You know how the cinemas there often have reserved seating. Engel likes looking like a nerd. He often wears eyeglasses even if he has 20/20 vision. Anyway, on that day, he was seated next to an older lady. Probably in her 40's early 50's. The older lady never sat still during the entirety of the film so Engel doesn't know if anything's wrong with her. Until the middle of the movie, he felt a finger running through his arm. It was the lady. She never looked at Engel, just ran her finger. He froze. He went to the washroom after and looked for an empty seat to occupy. That scared the hell out of him. She didn't even looked like a cougar.

THE FELLOW NERD
Engel is a self-confessed geek. He boasts of his huge collection of comicbooks and his love of perfumes and video games where he previously worked. So naturally, he'd attract someone who shares the same interests. Unfortunately, that someone is a girl. Engel was a Team Lead back then, and he'd often bother his reps just to get the some juicy info on his people. The fortunate rep he picked on was the nerdy girl who was all quiet and shy. He'd harass her to find out who her crush was. Lo and behold it was Engel. Soon after, she started sending sweet messages and giving him gifts and leaving comments on his friendster account. From then on, he learned to shut his mouth and mind his own business.

THE HEALTHY LADIES
His recent count is four. Two of them he became friends with. One is currently a colleague, and the other one was a reader of his other blog. His straight blog. She had the tenacity to find Engel's facebook, friendster, ym and email address. She works for the same company he's in. Engel doesn't want to ever show himself to that girl because he knows that there's something kinda off about her. She'd often leave a message on his outlook telling him how sad and lonely she is, how she needs to be with someone. There's nothing wrong with that, and he's really tempted to tell her the truth about himself, but he doesn't like to risk giving away his secret where he's working. There's nothing wrong about people finding out his sexual preference, but he'd like to keep status quo for the meantime.

**********
If this sounds kinda mean, Engel apologizes. He doesn't mean to offend anyone. He's writing this post to stroke his ego. He'd rather write something like this than be all emo and depressing.

13 comments:

Jay Quiambao said...

Hmm, perhaps enlarge your crowd more. Just a little suggestion.

<*period*>; said...

ang reaksyon ko po sa post mo--aw!

about kuya, kasalanan ko naman po eh...ako yung nawalan ng gana sa kaniya...yung about kay bastardized tagalog, dati ko po yung bestfriend...

haaay, ang lungkot ko..

MakMak said...

Blame it on the rain. :-)

Girls fall for the sensible type. We have to live with it. Hahaha. JK. :-)

rudeboy said...

Face it, Engel, you're doomed to be straight.

Embrace your hidden heterosexuality!!!

ash said...

barbed!

in tagalog, matinik! :)

domjullian said...

wow! daming admirers! kulet nung katulong, pandecoco sabay kindat. fortunately ang kuya ko lagi biktima ng mga maids and not me.people always find me suplado and untouchable.hehe

jayvie said...

haha! Ü aint mean at all.

you'll find your perfect match. Ü

Cloudy said...

i like this post engel.

a tinge of mean-ess but still true to the heart

i am beki said...

haha. parang straight-bitchyness. if there's such a thing.

i for one have experienced those things with maids, parloristas, with ladies and even with my sister's gay friends!

stroke your ego, there's nothing wrong about it! we need it once in a while.

Maxwell5587 said...

i like your adjectives. colorful gays, the "but" guy, healthy ladies. haha. laftrip.

i have to agree with makmak, ladies tend to fall for the nerdy, silent and mysterious type of guy guy with the glasses. kinda flattering if you ask me but it gets creepy when they start to be touchy.

xtian1978ii said...

LOL suki ka pala sa kindat Engel.

Ganun naman minsan e. Hindi mo naman sila pwede pigilan if may thing sila sayo. Kaya tama lang na hindi mo na lang sila pinapansin baka akalain nila interesado ka din.

citybuoy said...

i must say i can relate. i attract the strangest people. haha maybe it's because i'm strange too.

"If this sounds kinda mean, Engel apologizes. He doesn't mean to offend anyone. He's writing this post to stroke his ego. He'd rather write something like this than be all emo and depressing. "

don't worry about sounding mean. it's all in good taste naman. at ouch ha. mega emo ako lately eh. haha

Goodboi said...

Kumagat ka kaya minsan, para magka-alaman na! :-)