The last time Engel was inside the church on a Sunday was July of 2004. Five years. And prior to that, the last time he went to church on a Sunday would be in high school. Or maybe grade school, Engel doesn't remember. Well, probably high school, so he could then go out with his friends after.
That doesn't mean he doesn't go to church. On the contrary, back in college he was a patron of St. Jude (specially during the midterms and finals season). That's how he got through and finished college, prayer.
He's not an atheist. He believes in God. He prays. He knows some of the saints and is familiar with alot of church songs. He just doesn't like going to Sunday mass. No particular reason, really.
He's probably not the only guy who does that. Not really sure where he got it from. His father's extremely religious. Always going to mass on Sundays. Their family were really like that. Maybe Engel got that from his mother. She's a non-practicing Catholic, but that's because she really wasn't originally a Christian. But then again, his mom sometimes goes with his dad to church. Engel doesn't... ever.
Upon realization, he thinks the reason why he doesn't go to church, is that he'll only be committing more sins there. He'll probably just scan for guys that he likes. He might just sleep through the sermon, and probably not listen to the words that will be said. He doesn't even remember the parts of the mass. He'll definitely condemn himself more to eternal damnation if he goes there.
The thing is, although he doesn't hear mass on Sundays. He does go to church. He goes to St. Jude to pray. To say thanks. To talk to God. To say sorry for his shortcomings. He appreciates his blessings. Whenever he can, he pays the good things he receives forward to other people. And when he does go to church or to mass, he makes sure that he focuses only on the person up there.
Engel's not a churchgoer, probably never will be. But then that's because he doesn't really believe that going to church will save your soul. He believes it all depends on you. How you live your life. You can always go to church regularly, but if you still do things that aren't necessarily good, then that devoids the whole hearing mass thing. It just makes one a hypocrite.
2 weeks ago