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Sunday, November 29, 2009

COOL OFF

It's never an easy thing.

Writing about it is much harder.

After four weeks, I broke it off. More like I requested for a cooling period.

Most of you'd be curious as to I why changed my mind when I was really in love with him in previous posts. That feeling was actually genuine. It was real. It was true.

I never doubted for a second how much he loved me. He makes sure that I know that everyday. When we're together, even if we're not. And I loved him for that. I was happy.

Sadly, the memories of the old me came lingering. It wanted to have some time alone. To be free. It felt contained. Pressured. And I realized that I am unable to give back everything he gives.

It would be unfair for him if I continue with this. I thought it would be better to break his heart while he still loves me, rather than end it because he's already sick of my inability to love him back. I love him, and I thought that was the best thing to do. I don't want to hurt him, but I feel that if I go on with it, I'll be hurting him even more. He probably hates me now.

I'm probably going regret this one of these days, but I think for now, this would be the best thing to do. I don't think I'll be in a relationship for a little while after this. I think the problem is me. I need to figure what I want much better before I enter into this again.

Cooling off. Breaking up. It's never an easy thing. Someone's bound to have a broken heart.

20 comments:

domjullian said...

uhmmmm

Chingoy said...

let time be ur friend...

m2mtripper said...

Awww...

Bakit parang ang lulungkot ng mga love life ng tao ngayon?

Hugs! Hugs! at isa pang Hugs! na mahigpit!

Kampai!

MkSurf8 said...

minsan ganun talaga kaya ganun nga!

go lang. =)

Rei Mikazuki said...

I feel as if this happened to you before, Engel. Or it's just me feeling it.

Anyhow, I hope that the two of you get things worked out in the end.

Take care of yourself always. :)

thecurioscat said...

*hugs*

Galen said...

I remember a few months ago, you were wishing to have a relationship. Now that you've got one...

Well.

Wonder why I try my best to brush off thoughts of intimacy after Orion? Its because like you, I cannot hold on to a commitment especially when I think it would only lose steam.

I don't even try to enter one. I disengage the moment I feel there's no hope of trying.

Learn from the lessons my friend.

rudeboy said...

Intimacy issues, engel? Too soon to jump the gun here and issue a pre-emptive, defensive goodbye, methinks.

But you have your reasons, so we'll leave it at that.

I wish you both the best, and remember that you can always share your thoughs with us.

Or else the parrot gets it.

hugh said...

dito lang ako, i mean kami....

anteros' dominion said...

(pat on the back)

kung kailangan mo ng kausap, here's my email add...mahal_ko_si_jr@hotmail.com

im willing to listen

Maxwell5587 said...

oh well, i hope you figure things out. :)

take your time.

citybuoy said...

new love. always sad when it becomes old love.

i hope mawork out niyo pa yan. ever the optimist even under the direst of circumstances.

Yj said...

aaaaaaaaaw...

balang araw malalaman din nain bakit kailangang ganyan ang kahantungan ng kuwento nyo....

hugs

Mangyan Adventurer said...

Awts! Parang puro sad ang nababasa ko ngayon... Magpapasko pa naman...

Well, I hope malampasan mo ang pinagdadaanan mo ngayon. :)

Mr. Scheez said...

in time, everything will be okay =)

JayPee said...

I guess it's gonna be a cold Christmas for you.

You'll be fine.

Metamorphosis said...

well, mas maganda na yung ginawa mo kaysa maging unfair ka sa kanya kasi you cannot reciprocate yung binibigay niya sayo.

goodboi said...

Engel, you are being so unfair. You are responsible to clear up all the mess you created. Go back to him and make sure you let him understand first before you leave him! You just don't know what he has to go through with all these.

I tell you, if you will not do it, may God forbids, then you don't deserve to be loved.

engel said...

goodboi: that was... harsh. considering the only thing you know is what you read here.

but that's your opinion, and i respect that.

kuri said...

sad but you know what's best for both of you. goodluck na lang!