Being young sometimes meant being stupid.
Engel during his late teens/early twenties was experimental. He wanted to experience things that he's never done before. That actually meant frequenting the mIRC chatrooms (Ternie, the technology is not that old, and I think it still exist).
During the early years of Engel's sexperimental stage, MMS and colored cellular phones weren't invented yet (and even when it did, only the coño kids had that). Anyway, so pic exchange before eyeballs weren't done yet. So the basis for him and his partners to meet would be the voice on the other end of the line. Fortunately, Engel had or has (?) a great voice on the phone. Add that he knew how to flirt effectively back then that he was able to hook up with guys people would consider as a good catch.
So every once in awhile, Engel would be lucky enough to be asked out either on a date or an eyeball. Whatever happens after is dependent as to how the meet up went. Engel's had plenty of indiscretions when he didn't know any better. Unfortunately, not alot of his trysts weren't successful.
Engel barely remembers alot of the people he's met up with. Only a few people did register in his mind because it was either really awesome or effin' bad. So this post is about the latter. Reminders of Engel's bad dates.
Okay, obviously this wasn't the guy's name. You know how people like to use false names to impress the prospect. Well, Iñaki used that one. He said he was from Ateneo, fair, lean and that he's in his early 20's. Over the phone, the guy actually sounded okay. His english wasn't as proficient as you'd expect from an Atenean but he could talk in straight english if you don't mind the grammatical errors every other sentence.
So anyway, the guy was sweet and was sensible enough that Engel got interested to meet up. Then when the day came that Engel and Iñaki saw each other, Engel's jaw dropped. Iñaki is actually in yuckie! Well he is fair. But he also never outgrew the pimples stage of his youth. He had piercing all over his face, and he definitely didn't look Atenean. He looked like a really dirty mestizo, whatever that means.
During that time, Engel was still a little more presentable (meaning he looked less stressed out). So the date actually found him suitable. Yuckie actually wanted to display affection in the middle of Sbarro back then. But the writer resisted. Yuckie definitely wasn't Engel's type. So Engel ate quickly, while the date was still finishing his meal, Engel excused himself to go to the johns, but went for the exit.
Engel was a huge ass back then.
Straight off the bat, Ryan only wanted sex. And when Engel met Ryan, he was kinda in the mood to indulge. Since they actually live in neighboring villages, Engel decided he will go.
So at 2 in the morning, Engel sneaked out of the house to meet up. The bad thing about sending messages during midnight is you get your little head do the thinking and not factor in everything else. So when he arrived at Ryan's house, he was surprised at who welcomed him.
You see Engel forgot to ask for Ryan's details. Height. Weight. Looks. He let his dick point the directions, and the destination was hell. Ryan was an obese fag who looked like a ninja turtle. Engel was trapped. He can't back out anymore. So he got pulled in.
Ryan tried to kiss Engel on the lips. It may have been oily. Since Ryan was much bigger than Engel, he wasn't able to do anything with the guy's groping and kissing. When Engel's shorts were pulled down, nothing came up. Engel's other head was limp. Ryan ordered the writer to get his hard, but it never happened.
When Engel couldn't take the harassment anymore, he pulled up his pants and left.
This is already a long post. Engel still have a few stories to tell. But it will be for another time. But for now, this will have to do.
Engel is not promiscuous. He's had quite a number of epic failed meet ups that it traumatized him. His trysts period did not last very long.
ASSASSIN'S CREED ORIGINS REVIEW
8 months ago