Sunday, February 28, 2010


The latest popular site on the web community these days is formspring dot something. I've read several posts about it from different blogs all over (well mostly from the PLU community.

I have one. I don't visit it, I was just asked by a blogger friend from the other side of the blogosphere to create one. But I don't really go there. I think I've answered like a couple of questions and that's it.

Anyway, borrowing from the premise of that site, I'm going to let you ask me questions that you'd want to know about me. Post them on the comments section and I will try to answer them on a separate post a week from now.

I know I'm assuming that you're interested to get to know me, but please indulge me on this. This is the one and only chance you've got to interrogate me. I promise I'll try to answer all of them seriously.

So ask away.

On a different note, my birthday week officially ended last night. I'm already broke. Next salary's two weeks away. And I haven't bought a gift for myself yet.

But I did get three of my wishes last night. Plus two who I would've added as well on the list if only one of them posts more often, and the other one if only he visits my blog. =p Which was great. I met some of the people that I've looked up to in this side of the blog community. I don't know if they enjoyed the meet-up, as they had first-hand experience as to how quiet I really am in person.

Anyway, thanks guys!!! I really appreciate last night. It was my pleasure and honor to have met all of you guys. Hope we do this more often.

Friday, February 26, 2010


To ----
I really enjoy talking to you. I never thought for a million years that you're someone who'd talk to me, but apparently you did. And I'm thankful for that. You proved me wrong about my first impressions on you. Although we still have yet to get to know each other better, I just want to say that I enjoy you. Thanks.

To ---------
I've gotten over you a long time ago. I'm grateful to have had friends who would listen to me airing out how disappointed I was with what happened to us. But I understand what you're going through. Your reasons. Everything. I've gotten over you. But I can't help it, there are still days that I miss you. So much.

To ------
I feel it's wrong for me to be attracted to you. I mean, I don't talk to you. You're loud. Rowdy. Flambuoyant. A person I normally wouldn't get attracted to. Oh and you're already taken. But I'm shallow. You greeted me twice on my birthday and that's sweet. But I should not be attracted to you. Nope. I won't. God help me.

To ---
I like you. But I don't think I'll ever measure up to the people you surround yourself with. I'm not good looking. I'm not buff. I'm just a simple guy who likes to write and drown myself in geeky stuff. But I'm nice. I'm smart. I can be sweet. And I'm pretty sure there are alot of good things about me that you might be looking for in a guy. I just hope you see that. I hope you see me.

To ------
You're a good friend. You make me laugh. And I can always count on you to lighten up my day when it's becoming too dreary. And I sincerely want to be your friend.

To ----
I know what I did to you was unfair. And for that I'm sorry.

To ----
I'm happy I've gotten to know you. Back in the days, I wouldn't have thought we'd get along. You being a model and one of those "sexiest bachelors". But you kept in touch after all these years. I didn't think you'd even remember me, seeing how very limited our interactions were. But you did and I appreciate that. I'm happy for you and your wife and your very beautiful daughter. And if there's one thing I'm thankful for putting up a blog, is that it got me to reconnect with you. I got to know you more here than in the four years we spent in school.

To -------
I'm sorry if I uninvited you. I would really want to spend some quality time with you soon. But if you're bringing her, it might be too much for me. Don't get me wrong, I like her. I love her. We get along well. But I want to spend time with just you. I've gotten over you, but I just feel awkward whenever she's with us. I know she knows about me, and me and you and she knows we're just friends. But it's just uncomfortable with me.

Before you say anything, I think I know what you're thinking: ang landi ni Engel.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


I haven't posted any love-related posts in this blog for quite some time now. Looking back, it's actually been a long time already. Two months.

If it isn't obvious, it's because I haven't the inspiration to write one. I'd write about crushie, but during the whole three weeks we were together, apart from the comfort room thing that happened last week, we actually only had one interaction (consisted of two sentences from each of us, and I stammered during mine). Anyway, so yeah I'm zilch in the heart department.

Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with that right now. Apart from the monthly melancholy every full moon, I'm generally okay.

But what I'm interested in though, is how bloggers find other bloggers who write about love. Whether it's their longing to have one. Desperation to be in a relationship. Their bragging of their blooming love life. Or generally anything about matters of the heart.

Do you find them romantic (meaning the writer tends to be like someone you feel you might fall in love with)? Are those writers pathetic? Do you envy those writers? Or does their cheesiness make you want to throw up? Do you get depressed everytime you read a blogger meeting a special someone? Or do you just shrug it off thinking they'll just break up in a month?

If you ask me, there are certain people that I find endearing. Sometimes I kind of get sad (more like jealous) when they meet someone. There are times I envy those people (the partners) because they've met and fell in love with that particular writer. But oftentimes, I just shrug it off. I'm mostly happy for those writers (I'm not bitter), it makes me hopeful I'd find the one at the right time.

I'm just curious what you guys think.

Sunday, February 21, 2010


The first impression of people about me when asked is that I look like a snob.

I often say it isn't true and that the people who knows the real me would say it's quite the opposite.

But then I realized if the saying isn't true, then I should have like alot of friends. I should be like a social butterfly and not a wallflower.

The truth is, I probably am a snob. I possibly am suplado. And that I'm just in denial.

But is that really wrong, if you're just protecting yourself from being hurt or being used by people you treat as friends? I mean if you've been through that before and are avoiding making the same mistakes, that is reason enough to put up some walls, right?

I know I should start to put up some more faith in the people I meet. Not everyone has some bad intentions in befriending people. But how do we know, really?

There are people, eventhough they say that what they offer is genuine, you can't help but feel creeped out by what they say or do. There are people who seems cool at first, but they flake out and leave you in times you need someone to talk to. And then there are those who would say they welcome meeting you, but their action speaks otherwise.

I don't take that against those people. It's not my loss, I think I'm awesome (given the chance). I move on. But still, I learn.

So am I really a snob?

Yeah. Maybe I am.

We put on walls so that we'll know who are willing to break through them to get to us.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Remember what I said a few posts ago, about doing ten spontaneous things throughout the year, to avoid monotony in my life?

Well, early this morning, I did something which I consider is something new, spontaneous, risquee and out of the ordinary. Well, technically, this is the second, but booking a flight for Palawan is boring so scratch that.

So anyway, I wasn't doing anything at work earlier this morning. And at the suggestion of Teacher Ternie (yes Ternie I blame you!!!), I did something I never did before.

Around 4:30am, while most of my co-trainees are quietly sleeping or waiting for their turn for accreditation or just using the office resources for their personal pleasure I decided to go out of our room and descend one floor down where work starts at around 7 in the morning.

As expected the floor was clear. Empty. Quiet. Dark. Except for the guard and trainees occupying the other side of the floor, the coast was clear.

I entered the lone men's comfort room expecting it to be empty, but lo and behold, crushie from my training class was there. He was washing his hands and looked just as surprised as I was when I found out I was not alone. He recognized me, smiled and quietly went out of the room. Well, that was a sign of good things to come.

I entered one of the cubicles and locked the door, I unzipped my pants and pulled it down.

I was nervous. It was my first time doing something like this. Something wrong. Unethical. Something fun.

I stroked it slowly. Gently. Thinking of the last face I saw before I locked myself inside the small space I was in. It was exciting.

Having nothing but only my imagination working, it took me longer to finish. I stroked it faster, then slower. And faster again. It was good. Deep breaths. Long moans. Gentle strokes.
And then I came.

The idea of doing something naughty in the office was new for me, and in a way, it was exciting. I got really excited, what came out was all over the place. I pulled a roll of tissue to clean up, but I thought to leave some evidence behind. I cleaned myself up, flushed the toilet and left.

I came back the room and looked at crushie. He flashed that coy smile I always adored as if saying I knew where you were and what you did.

I smiled back thinking 'oh you have no idea what I did'.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Reading through one hundred posts, I think it's already obvious how much of a geek as well as socially retarded I am. I blame my being an only child for that one. But anyway, this post is not about how dysfunctional I really am, there's like alot of posts here as well as my other blog that proves that fact.

This post I'll geek out again. But not about video games or comics, that's been done too much already. This time, let me talk about my other favorite thing to do. Being a couch potato.

I was raised in front of the television. Hell, I think I got my english speaking skills just because my aunts before were addicted to Dallas, Knotts Landing, McGyver, Baywatch and Beverly Hills 90210.

I don't want to bore you anymore with my history with tv, so I'm just going to list down some of my favorite tv series by genre. I'll start with the sci fi ones. Unleash the geekness in me.

THE 4400
Over several periods in time, people have disappeared out of nowhere. No reasons why, without a trace. Nothing just gone. And then one day, a bright light happened and everyone who disappeared came back. Not only were they back, but they came back totally different. They came back and they now have powers. Now I don't watch Heroes, I think it's too overrated. Too convoluted. And just plain boring. But this one, although there are no superheroes and supervillains, I qualify as a great 'comics' series about what happens if people start having superpowers. It's too bad, the show got cancelled when the story got meatier. Anyway, I love this show. For four years, this was what I watched while waiting for the new year to start.

This is the spin-off of one of my all time favorite sci-fi series. Torchwood is a covert British operative that takes care of extra-terrestrial cases. Captain Jack Sparrow leads a ragtag group of scientist/cops to solve alien murders, succubus beings and time travelling crises all in the name of their organization. Before I got hooked on it's parent show, this was the series that I first saw. Unfortunately, St. Francis Square doesn't have a copy of the latest season and I'm too dumb to know how to download series, so I don't have the means to follow this series apart from online reviews and forums. Oh and by the way, it's lead character Captain Jack Sparrow is gay both in the series and in real life.

I don't know how to explain Lost. Really. But in a nutshell, this is the story of the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. I didn't get to follow this series anymore as I didn't have the time anymore to watch full season dvd's unless it's Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Chuck or 24. But from what I saw back then, this show was riveting. It's convoluted I know, and it asks more questions than gives us any answers, but the stories are undeniably great. Brilliant acting, I especially love Ben Linus. Villainy comes just naturally from that guy. One of these days I'll find a dvd of this series and watch it completely.

This one is definitely in the list. I'm a comic book fan, and although I don't read Superman at all, this series fills me in on his history. How Clark Kent became the man he came to be. Yeah I know it's not in continuity, but I think it's close enough. I first got hooked on this series because of Kristin Kreuk, but her character just became boring. Fortunately, the stories did not. And when Olliver Queen (Green Archer) showed up, the series just got more interesting. I'm waiting for the latest season to finish before I buy the dvd, but from what I hear this season's probably the series' best yet. Like I said I'm no DC fan, but when I saw pictures of the Justice Society of America, I just drooled.

Who doesn't know Buffy? This was a pop culture phenomenon. I don't think I need to explain what this story's about. Okay, fine. Buffy's a high school student who finds out that she's the chosen one. Apparently, the chosen one has to kill every vampire, demon, gods and what have yous that come crawling out of the Hellmouth that's situated in Sunnydale California. This series had everything I was looking for in a tv show. Drama. Comedy. Action. Violence. At one point, it even had a musical. Too bad everyone had to move on and this show got cancelled. But this series is one of the shows that I followed religiously. At one point I had to cut some of my night classes to catch a new episode of this series. And by the way, Season 8 of this show is in comics form, and the main villain is Barack Obama. Cool eh?

This for me is the best science fiction series of all time!!! It does help that it is the longest running sci-fi series according to the Guinness Book of World Records. Doctor Who is about the Doctor. A time and space traveller who saves the world from evil aliens, demons, and other sci-fi baddies along with his sexy sidekicks and his trusty TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) his time and space machine. What can I say, this show is brilliant. It's awesome and for me, this made the Brits cool. It's been on for like 40 years or something, and they thought of a really cool way to explain the change of actors who become The Doctor. It's a very smartly written series and even if it's relatively unconventional as compared to American made shows, Doctor Who can hold it's own by it's originality and pure awesomeness. I wish I own a Tardis.

Monday, February 15, 2010


So Valentine's Day just passed by quickly. I was supposed to go out on a man-date yesterday with a fellow single but straight friend, but he bailed out on the last minute so I was left with nothing to do.

The good thing about owning a console is that if you find yourself left out when everyone was out on a date, you'd still have something to occupy the time. That's 25k well spent.

So on the 14th of February 2010, I did nothing the whole day. Typical.

My birthday week's next week.

I've pretty much planned out what I'm going to do for the whole five days that I'm on leave, I just hope that those plans push through. Specially the one planned for the weekend.

So I'll be 28 by then. Some would cry. Others would be in denial. There are also those who won't accept growing older. But I'm fine with it. Age is just a number anyway, it's how you live your life that matters.

I'm not sure why, but earlier today I've been tripping on Dishwalla's Somewhere In the Middle. Like the whole day, this was the only song I was listening to. Well that and Duffy's Piece Of My Heart, but mostly Dishwalla.

I'm a lyrics guy, and the song doesn't make much sense to me, but I can't help but relate to it's chorus.

tripping hard falling down onto the ground
cause I can't stand up
and I can't fall down
and I'm somewhere in the middle of this

Anyway, regardless, I still love this song.

Saturday morning I found myself reading through different threads in PinoyExchange. I owe alot to this site, as this was the one that introduced me to the wonderful world of blogging. This is where I met the first person who crossed the line between online and real life friend.

Anyway, I don't know how, but I stumbled upon the local showbusiness thread.

I remember back when I was in high school, one topic that usually gets my gay classmates all loud and violent is the network war. Cable tv wasn't that big back then, so it's mostly channel 2 vs 7. I remember my classmates usually take these topic more seriously than Economics, GMRC or History (I personally think my classmates' opinions on network wars are more interesting than the subjects, except for English Literature).

I was just surprised that even now, eleven years after I graduated from high school, the network war is still raging. People still get violent defending their favorite tv station. And internet ethics are still thrown out the window because of this. It's like nothing really changed.

Oh yeah, that weird stalker person is back. And he's creepier than ever.

I honestly thought I'd hear the last from that blogger when I removed him from my friendster and facebook and blocked his username over at ym. But he still lingered.

I thought maybe I should stop posting cheesy stuff in my other blog. Everytime I post one, that's when creepy stalker guy usually starts to message me again. I should leave the cheesy posts here, a blog he's discovered once and didn't come back to again.

Maybe I should take that as a compliment, you know having people respond the way he does to the things I write. But then again, he crossed a line that is acceptable to me or to any sane person out there.

Or maybe I should stop talking about creepy stalkers. I'm pretty sure there's someone out there who thinks I'm one too.

Saturday, February 13, 2010


I have been starting and restarting writing a post for this blog for like the last 48 hours. I've deleted like 12 drafts already before I gave in to this post.

This isn't actually an original post. This was originally posted from my other blog. If you've been following both blogs, this may already seem familiar, and to some a dead giveaway to who I really am.

Anyway, I'm actually reposting one of my ex-moments. A post-relationship event that made this person someone I'll never forget. Not because of a sweet memory we shared together, but something more in the line of infamy.

When this thing happened, the ex and me haven't really communicated with each other in over a year. It was a bad relationship. A bad break-up. A bad everything. Only the sex was great. But everything else was bad.

Anyway, one hot summer weekend night, I received a text message from this ex.

Ex was being flirtatious at first, asking how I was. What I've been up to. Where I'm working, the works. At first, I thought the ex was trying to relive the old times, but then a few messages later, I got this...

Ex: nyc to know that ure doing okay. Ngpapyman k n h.
Engel: d nman. bti nman napatxt k. tgl dn tyo di usap.
Ex: actly... hhngi sna ako favor...
Engel: ?
Ex: Do u have 5k i cud borow. kelngn k lng tlga. kkenrol k lng kc, la nako pmbyad s crdt crd k. Pay u s 30.

Don't you just love exes?


Tuesday, February 9, 2010


The birthday is still a few weeks away, and I know it's too early to make a wish, but I'll still do it anyway.

For my 28th year of existence I was thinking of maybe expanding my circle of friends. You remember what I said about online friends being different from real friends. Well I'd like for this year to have a few people cross that line.

I was debating whether to post this or not as there have been alot of people who've been really nice to me since I made the big move to this new home. There've been alot of people who have figured out who I am and I don't want to miss out on these people. But if I start writing them all down this would pretty much be the longest post you'll ever read. So I thought I have to just limit this list to people who I get to communicate outside of this blog and people who I'd really really want to meet.

TERNIE - Yeah, I'd start with him. In the six months that I've written on this blog, he's probably the closest to crossing the line of online friend and real friend. I've opened up to this guy during the time I was really frustrated. I don't think we have alot in common, and sometimes I think I annoy him. But whatever, I think he's a cool guy. Not sure about busilak, mayumi and dalisay, but I'm pretty sure he's a good person.

MARK - The other person that I get to communicate outside of this blog on a semi-regular basis. Mark is someone I'm pretty sure I have a number of things in common. I get a little insecure because I think he's kind of someone who's out of my league statuswise, but he tells me he's just a regular person. And I appreciate that. Although I'm not sure if that'll ever happen (meeting him), he seems to be an in-demand guy, but who knows. The one time I thought that I was about to meet this guy, I actually looked forward to it, but unfortunately it didn't happen. He's one of the people I enjoy texting or ym'ing with, so there you go.

JOMS - One of the first few people that befriended me in the blogosphere. I think I've known him for about two years now, but I've never actually met him. I've been very vocal about saying that I'm a huge fan of his writing. I may not share his views about some things, but regardless I still think he puts them down in really poignant ways. He's the type of writer I really wanted to be.

ASH - People say that he does not do meet-ups. And I could understand that, knowing his predicament. If I was in his place I'd really really be careful with the people I meet too. Anyway, if ever the chance happens, I have a lot of questions in mind that I wanted to ask him. I mean I could always ask him through YM, but it's different if you're in front of that person. Meeting him is probably the birthday wish that I'm never going to get, but that's okay.

RUDEBOY - The other night, Ternie and I was talking about him, and we both agreed that he is very much fit where he works. He is a smart guy and he really is cool. Ruddie seems to be just like Ash, a person I'd never get to meet. I respect the need to keep his anonimity. I once wanted the same thing. He seems to be the type of person who would make any topic interesting. A real advertising man.

MAXWELL - Maxwell's one of the people I'd really want to communicate with outside of our blogs. He seems to be a very interesting blogger. Someone I think I have things in common with. Okay, at one point I'd say he was one of my online crushes. I really don't know what else to say about Max because I don't get to interact with him other than here and in his home, but I still think he's someone I will get along okay with.

GOODBOI - Ahhh Goodboi, I don't know if we'll get along well in real life. He disagrees with some of the things I write here, but he does so without being insulting. And that's one of the reasons I find him interesting. Opposites attract (not in a romantic way), and Goodboi seems to be the person who eventhough I have different views with, would still be someone that would be fun to hangout with. I enjoy being with intelligent people, and I think he's one of those people.

NYL - He's the newest guy I got to talk to outside our respective blogs. I've always been a fan of his writing, as he seems to often post some really poignant posts. The type of person who makes alot of sense. And like alot of people on this list, a person you know is learned. I can't help but agree with alot of what he writes and sometimes or often, I'm moved with the things he shares with us his readers. That's enough for me to put him on my list of bloggers I'd like to meet.

DOMINIC - Knowing the nature of this blog, any straight blogger who reads this blog, let alone follow and comment in most of my post is a keeper. It also helps that he is a good cook. He asked me one time what I wanted for my birthday, and I said, I'm okay if he lets me taste some of his specialties. I'd like to taste the spaghetti he once posted on his blog. That looked yummy.

ALEXIS JAY - He promised a coffee meet-up so he could could convince me to vote for Noynoy. He's on hiatus right now, and his presence is sorely missed, specially by this blogger. I think he's straight so don't get any ideas. I'm not sure what happened to this guy, but I'm hoping he comes back soon. I miss his posts.

HENRY - I promised this guy I'll lend him some of my comic books and I'm going to stay true to that word. Although I've given up trying to convince him to finally put some closure regarding his dilemma, he's still the type of person I'd like to meet. I haven't talked to the guy lately as he always caught me at a bad time, but I think we still have alot to catch up on.

There are still alot of people I would want to meet. But this post is super long already, so I'd cut it for the meantime. I'm sure there will be another post like this soon. There's still like five or more people that comes to mind when it comes to people I'd like to meet, so don't hate on me if you don't see your name here.


Monday, February 8, 2010


I'm just curious.

So please indulge me on this question.

Reading through this blog, what kind of image am I showing off here?

Am I idealistic, realistic, romantic, stupid, you get the idea.


Thursday, February 4, 2010


One of the things I've noticed this afternoon when I did my regular blog visits is that a certain number of people posted topics about friendships. That topic was like the only thing in my head while I was in the shower earlier, so I thought why not just post my two cents.

With my other blog, posting about my friends is like one of my favorite things to do. I post long testimonials to some of my closest buddies, and I pride my relationships with them.

There is a difference with choosing the people you mingle with or get acquainted to and choosing who to keep as your friends. I'll be honest, I choose the people I befriend. It's my right. It's my life.

I don't choose based on the people's looks, that's stupid. I choose based on who I trust to stick with me for a long time. I was born the year of the dog, so I have their qualities. I tend to be blindly loyal to my friends. Like, I would walk to the ends of the earth just for my buddy. Unless our office declares a certain day as a critical work day, in which case I'll follow my friend the day after.

But just because I choose my friends, it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm a snob. I am not. I get acquainted with people easily. I'm fairly quiet, but if you get me to open up, I could be very talkative. For me, there is a difference in making friends and making acquaintances.

This is already common knowledge, I opened this blog up not only to share my life with people, but also to meet new people. People who I have a lot in common with. While there are alot of people who visit or read or interacts with me here, not all of them I will consider my real friends.

Yes, the interactions are fun. We learn from what we read from each other. We share sentiments through our posts or comments, but it still won't be enough to know the writer behind the blog for real. Not everything written on a blog is the whole truth. It's just the writer's side of the story. And not all stories are real. Sometimes the writer could be the most sentimental, cheesy or ideal person in their blogs, but in real life they're nothing close to what we read.

Outside this blog, I get to interact (sms or ym) with about only 7 bloggers that I've met here. Fewer still are the people I've met in real life (and I don't even communicate with any of them at all). I could always initiate chatting with the people that I admire, but then again I'm shy. The people I talk to now, mostly were the ones who added me up on ym. I rarely initiate, unless that person's someone you'd really want to get to know more (non-romantically of course). And sometimes, there's no way for me to actually get to know these people more.

For me, there's a difference between my blogger friends and my real friends. My blogger friends may know more about me than my real friends, but my real friends are how should I say it... Real.

So what's the point of this post, you ask? I don't know. I just wanted to post something about friends.

I know. Sorry for wasting 5 minutes of your time.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


On my way to work last Thursday, I came across this couple who were fighting on the walkway along dela Rosa street.

I don't know what they were fighting about but the girl was physically abusing the guy.

The guy was actually hot. Tall nice body. Kind eyes. The girl was definitely not. Okay, she's kinda sexy, but facewise, I really don't know what he saw in her.

She was punching the guy, and he was just letting her. He looked confused.

It pissed me off a little.

Why girls like her are bagging guys like him, when there are alot of people like us who are willing to shower these men with love (I know it's cheesy, but it's true).

Kakairita lang.


Oh yeah, I do apologize if I don't get to bloghop as often as I normally do. I'll be in training for the next three weeks. And when I'm home, I'm mostly playing video games. I don't sleep at all. It's crazy.

Anyway, I'm happy I'm in the same class as crushie, although we have yet to talk to each other, we normally have lunch together. We're a big group.

Monday, February 1, 2010


So it's February.

The Chinese New Year.

Valentine's Day.

Normally, this is a good month for me.

Work's going to be a little bit less stressful, as I'll be undergoing another series of training in line with an upcoming promotion (don't congratulate me yet, it also means more work for me). Oh yeah, and it's been confirmed I'll be transferred again in a couple of months. I'll be going back to my old department (which is essentially delivery status only more complicated).

Oh yeah, training will be exciting because I'll be in the same class as crushie!!! As if something will happen between us. But the prospect of finally interacting with him is exciting. So wish me luck on that.

I have no date on Valentine's Day. No prospect. And I don't really care anymore. It would be nice of course if there is. But I've learned not to make a big deal out of it. I'll just let the teenagers, indays and badongs have their day of fun.

I'm not bitter!

I'm just thankful January's over. Too much to look forward to this month. New video game out in a few weeks. Hopefully my salary increase for the year will be as acceptable as last year's. I'll find out by the end of the month. It's likely that I'll be travelling up north by the last week of the month. And oh yeah, I have another four day weekend this month.

And of course, in a few weeks I'll be turning 28.

I'm expecting gifts!!! =P