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Thursday, June 24, 2010

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS I GOT FROM MY EXES

Ternie's comment from my last post rang true, maintaining a relationship is hard. Period.

Not that I am complaining, because all the hard work is worth it whenever I hear 'the kid' (I'm branding him that from now on) say those three words. Or whenever he says that he's happy, or he misses me or each time he goes all cheesy on me.

Enough about that, I did not come back to this blog to brag about my relationship. Not entirely.

I'm trying to be all guru-like. Learned. Experienced. Wise. Even if I'm not. Specially relationship-wise. But in any case, this is my journal. The chronicles of my life. This is where I share what I have learned so far.

These are things that I've learned from my exes that I'm trying to change. No, not trying. I'm GOING to change.

THE BLOGGER
I broke it off because I felt that I was caged in the relationship. That I had to tell him everything that I did. I felt I wasn't really free. I didn't even tell him that. I just gave up. I didn't give him a chance.
So now I learned to communicate. We talk about the things. Things we don't want to hear. And we work it out.

THE GOOD TIME GUY
In retrospect, I don't think what we had was a relationship. We were more like glorified fuck buddies. Shit, I even let myself be his mistress (what do you call a male mistress?). We broke up because we really didn't know each other.
So now I learned that before I dive into a relationship I should get to know the person first. We may know each other for some time already, but there are still some things I am discovering about the kid. Some I like, others, I like even more.

THE FIRST LOVE
The first love did not work out because it was all built on a lie. The relationship would've been okay as things were most of the time okay. But when the shit started hitting the fan, the relationship started sinking.
I learned to open up. A little. It's a work in progress. Oh and I learned to be honest.

JOY
He wasn't an ex. But he was a love-that-cannot-be. He's straight, and he is one of my best friends in the world.
I learned a little bit about timing. Like the previous learning, this is a work in progress. But at least now, I think more before I speak. And when I do speak, I learned when to shut up.

THE FIRST EX-GIRLFRIEND
This was my longest relationship so far. And it was way back in high school. In all my past relationships this is where there are similarities with the current one. There is an age gap. We don't get to see each other often. We mostly talk on the phone. It didn't work out because she had to go to college, and I was stuck in high school.
From this relationship I learned how to be patient. I learned how to be sweet. I learned to respect my partner. I learned alot of things regarding how to be a good boyfriend from this relationship.

There are still alot to learn, that's for sure. But I hope when these lessons are learned we'd still be together. We learn not for the next relationship, but because we wanted ours to be stronger.

7 comments:

SOLTERO said...

the important thing is that you learned from those experiences (i won't call those "mistakes").

good luck to u and the kid :)

imsonotconio said...

i love this post.

"when you find that special person, you would know why others didnt work out"

Mac Callister said...

yun naman importante e,you learned, you analyzed what went wrong on every relationships u failed, so next time alam na natin and dapat at di dapat.nice post dude.

TheChemistryGuy said...

nice to hear that you learned something... the only thing is dont compare everyone with the past, gaya ng nangyayari sakin ngayon.. hhayss

Guyrony said...

Like a farmer the freshest and best produce can only be achieved through a laborious process.

Marcoboi said...

you learn from every failed relationship..

goodluck! :)

canonista said...

We MUST learn. (sigh)

...will I ever love again?