Friday, September 3, 2010


We were on our way home from our man-date in Tagaytay when we arrived on an intersection.

The light was red. We stopped.

It was an awkward moment. The first time we went out after the big friendship fallout. Save for the music playing on the radio, we just kept silent. Everything that need be said, was said. Except for that one thing.

“How did you feel when I told you I love you?” I asked.

Joy laughed. This was the first time we talked about it, since we became friends again. I thought the topic was taboo, as there was too much drama that happened after the huge revelation.

"Honestly bro, I felt betrayed. During that time, ang bigat ng loob ko diba, with the whole break-up thing, and ikaw yung isa sa mga nagbibigay lakas sakin nun. And then you had to do that."

He was already moving on when that incident happened. He was going out on dates again. I thought that I was losing him. And one drunken evening I made the mistake of texting him how I felt.

But he didn't have to know that. It's all over. Behind us. What we're doing, why we went out is rebuilding the friendship. It's been two years since we last saw each other, there's no need for drama.

"I'm sorry," I ended.

He smiled. Punched me in the arm and stepped on the gas. "Don't worry about it."

Suddenly, it's not awkward anymore.

There are two guys that I write alot about here in my blog. One's of course "my kid." And the other one is Joy.

To those who are new here, Joy was the one who got away. The love that was not meant to be (well he's straight, that's why). The friend I almost lost. One of my best friends.

He celebrated his birthday yesterday, so here I am posting my tribute to him.

Belated Happy Birthday my friend!!!


orally said...

the one who got away..
i guess we all have our fair share of this.

you're very lucky you have the kid and you got your friend back. good for you.

Guyrony said...

The one that got away...

Life does pretty much bring forth opportunities and what have you.

Ah, but it seems there is still longing.

He gave you Joy. At least to an agape type of love.

imsonotconio said...


at leazt ur ztill friendz

soltero said...

that was really sweet, it was a simple post yet tumagos ng husto sa akin.

i'm really happy naging magkaibigan kayo ulit :)

ʎonqʎʇıɔ said...

ahh the complicated relationship of gay men and guys. it's frail and strong at the same time. i never could understand it. i wonder if our female counterparts have it too?

engel said...

@nyl: this is why i'm interested to know or talk to lesbians. i would want to know the answer to that one too.

engel said...

@soltero: can relate ka ba? :P

engel said...

@conio: yup

engel said...

@guyrony: no longing. we accept the things that are not meant to be and just be happy that it did not change anything.

engel said...

@orally: lucky indeed. it's what we're fated to be, i guess. :)