The past couple of days have been a bit unpleasant for me. I just learned that a former colleague of mine died from pneumonia. He's younger than I am, so his loss came as a bit of a surprise.
The second reason for the unpleasantness, although I'm not really sure if it should be unpleasant. But it's confusing, and not knowing what to do about it is what really sucks. Someone who cut me off from his life is coming back. Now I'm not too sure if it's just a temporary thing or for good or if he was just bored. But it's driving me insane. I mean I miss him. For a time, he was like the best part of my day, but then he just left.
So anyway, I don't want to rant. I don't want to become the type of blogger that I don't want to read.
Just for distraction, I thought maybe I should write down again my ideal person. The traits I'm looking for in a partner.
SOMEONE WHO MAKES ME TALK
Let me start with this. I'm not really a quiet person. At first I am, and that's because I'm inherently shy, introverted. I just remembered, 80% of the people I fell for I did because I enjoyed talking to them. They're not necessarily smart, but our wave of thoughts are similar. I like it when the person I'm with is more talkative than me. I enjoy listening alot, that's how I learn. That's how my opinion on things are formed. But I appreciate more, if that person makes me talk. If he listens. Because then I'm sure, he's really interested to get to know me more.
NOT NECESSARILY A GEEK
I really don't mind if the person I'm with does not know who Matt Murdock, or Jessica Drew is. I don't mind if he sucks at video games like Tekken or Street Fighter (because I suck at them too). I don't even care if he doesn't watch Chuck or How I Met Your Mother. But I do appreciate it if he'd take some time to learn about the things that I like. My xbox has two controllers, and they're rarely both used. I'm patient enough to teach the one what the left and right trigger buttons are for when we play Left 4 Dead. Or it's fine with me to explain to him what happened if he gets lost reading Captain America. That would be nice.
SOMEONE WHO TOLERATES ME
I could be weird. I could be a goddamned prick. And I'm pretty sure I'm an ass sometimes. I was born on the month of February, so I'm pretty much kulang-kulang. But if someone could tolerate my quirks, then he's a keeper. Obviously that doesn't mean that I wouldn't change. There's such a thing called compromise, right? I guess what I'm saying is it would be nice to meet a person who likes me for me. Not the smart me or the nice me, or the writer me, but the crazy, moody, PMS-y, semi-autistic me.
I admit it, like all the time and I'm not going to pretend to be one. I'm not good-looking nor am I buff. So I don't expect to end up with someone like say Daniel Matsunagi or Marc Nelson or whichever model's hot these days. The only way I'd end up with a person like that is if I pay them alot. And I'm not going to do that. I'm twenty eight. I'm not desperate. I have been lucky that in the past I've hooked up with people others would consider hot. But then I screwed that up. So the looks department isn't as important for me now unlike my younger years. But at least that person should look presentable.
I'm pretty easy to impress. Just do something nice and I'd give you my heart. I remember being won over by a friend because he brought me lunch in the office one time. Well he was hot, and I had a huge crush on him even before that, but I think you know what I mean.
4 months ago