This may sound abit like sourgraping, but it's not. But Engel wants to write something light again. Backreading this blog this past few days he's realized he's been writing heavy stuff. He needs to lighten up a bit. Bring back his old self. He doesn't want to be too depressing. People get that from school, work, news and he doesn't want bloghopping to be sad too.
So this post will be about the reason why Engel decided why it is better to have stayed single.
You see, Engel for most of the day is an optimist. He won't deny once PMS hits him, he'd sometimes think it's nice to be with a partner. But that doesn't mean he does not appreciate the alone time. He does. Remember, he broke up with his ex because he preferred to be alone. It's got it's perks too.
He wrote about this once. It may be redundant, but sometimes people need to reinforce the things in their lives that make them happy.
This is the first thing you lose once you decide to get hitched. You don't need to ask permission to go out with a friend. No need to tell someone what you're doing all the time. "I'm about to sleep. Eat. Go to work. I'm in the bus. I'm in the cab. Still in the cab. I'm about to start working. I'm going to pee. Take a crap. Whatever."
Not that Engel's stingy, because he's not. One time he spent alot of money to make the boy he likes happy (not in a sugar daddy kind of way, really). But it's nice to have your money for yourself. Not that the dates were expensive, they only ate out at Jollibee every breakfast. Dates are nice, and picking out gifts for the partner is even nicer, but sometimes it's also great to have money so you could buy that nice pair of shoes you've been drooling over for the last few months.
It's been two hours and Engel can't think of anything more. He knows there's more. And there probably is. But he decided he'll just do a part two some other time.
On a different note, Engel's been stressing out the past two days (because of an entirely different reason which now is not the right time to be telling). The problem is, he can't find a person to tell it to. And it's giving him a huge migraine. He was good at separating his work and personal problems, but yesterday was the breaking point.
He's been making decisions by himself and maybe that's why he's making mistakes. He finds it difficult not having someone to talk to who understands.
So for what it's worth, Engel wants to take this time to thank Ternie for listening yesterday and giving sound advise. Appreciate it. A lot.
3 months ago