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Saturday, September 10, 2011

DO THEY KNOW?

A couple of years ago, I asked this question: Do they know?

I had an inkling that my parents had clues about who I really am. I think all parents do. These are things that just never get said. Things that are better left unsaid.

As a kid, I know they must have seen something in me. I remember my cousins would joke around that among our clan, the third generation of our family there were only about three and a half of us who'll spread our last name. The men in my family died young. I was the half.

My grandmother caught me fornicating with another guy in my room. I know she's always known. She'd tell my uncles what she thought of me when I was young. I'm sure that deed she saw would have already reached my mother's ears.

Then there's the fact that I'm almost thirty, and not once have I brought a woman home to meet them.

The Kid always sleeps over at home. And when he's there, we just lock ourselves up inside my room. I'm sure my cousin and our household help have at least once heard me and the kid say sweet nothings to each other.

They know.

The question though is this, should I confirm to them what they already know?

15 comments:

Gaspard said...

yes. i too think all parents know naman eh. in my case, they dont ask me but i know they know na. hindi lang siguro nila tinatanong ako kasi natatakot sila na ma-confirm ang "hinala" nila.

if you're ready, tell them na din.

its unfair if some of your friends know, when in the first place, dapat mga magulang muna natin ang makaalam kasi mas importante sila sa buhay natin.

Mugen said...

Your hunch is probably their hunch. But does it matter? :D

I'm happy that you and the kid are still together.

sweet pea said...

Don't lie. DOn't tell the whole truth, either. SOmething like that.

rudeboy said...

I always tell my friends who wonder if their families know about their real sexual preferences, engel, that your mother is the first person to know what you are.

Sometimes, way before you do.

As to confirming what they already know, that's a personal choice. My family has a "Don't ask, don't tell" policy that, for all the hiding in plain view, seems to satisfy all parties. My lesbian and gay cousins on both sides of the family are free to bring their SOs to family reunions and other gatherings, and the titos and titas are free to pretend that these are just "special friends."

While I roll my eyes and roll another joint.

the green breaker said...

If you feel the need for it, go. If something impedes you, don't start. It will just make you regret the whole thing if it turns out to be a fiasco.

[oh, if they got clues, might just seem like a cherry on top of the cake]

Skron said...

Why don't you bring a chick home and introduce her to your parents. Confuse them a bit. Just pay a hooker and teach her how to play DX:HR.

Do this a couple of times. Then, on one very uneventful tuesday, come out and tell them you're gay.

By the ways, I'm almost 31 and I haven't introduced 1 woman to my parents. But I'm pretty sure it never crossed their minds I'm gay.

kaloy said...

You don't have to literally - i'd like to think we have a natural confirmation system and its just torture for you to be required to blurt it out when everybody knows. If you are peaceful, then leave things where they are, if not and you feel the need to, then go ahead and casually say 'hey, i like boys' while eating turon after siesta... :) You won't be less of a good guy.

V1nC3 said...

Maybe, there are just people who doesn't want to talk about the obvious. Consider it an 'open-secret'.

Spiral Prince said...

the moment will come, engel. :)

Blakrabit said...

If they don't ask, don't tell. But if they do, don't lie.

Kaloy said...

I think you dont need to confirm it to your parents. I agree with Rudeboy, your mom is the first person to know what you are.

Pyro said...

We are in the same boat. And I also don't know what to do. But each coming out is unique to each of us. It all depends on the situation, the circumstances and the available options. But the moment will come like what Spiral Prince wrote above. I hope yours come smoothly. And I hope mine too. :)

ortigaswanderer said...

As i walk through this life, I say that there are things better left unsaid as we can never tell the outcome.

citybuoy said...

You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! lol

I agree with the others. There are things better left unsaid. Unless of course you think it won't change anything. If you think about it, it really shouldn't.

Kane said...

If you already know something, do you still need to confirm it?

Doesn't it come before that; that they confirm it and then they know.

Otherwise, they just suspect.

Anyway, IF they do suspect, would you want to confirm?

It's been said so many times before, the truth will set you free.

If it doesn't kill you first.

Kisses,
Kane