These past few days, I've been thinking whether to delete this blog or to continue writing.
I created this for the sole purpose of anonimity. To write freely because nobody knows who I am. This has changed recently, either voluntarily or not. Not that I don't like people finally knowing who I really am (specially those who've been following my straight blog), but just like Ternie said on one of our conversations, bloggers are smart people and should not be underestimated.
Thankfully, those who know respect me enough to not spread the truth among other bloggers (not that everyone's interested). Anyway, with people knowing, the purpose of this blog has become moot. Not everyone knows who I am, but I guess I'm just being careful because if this spills out, I not only have blogfriends who read my other home. Family as well as friends who don't know the truth about me will know. And I don't really think I'm ready to announce that to the world yet.
Xtian did make a point earlier, when we were chatting, which actually got me thinking twice about making the decision. If it weren't for this blog then I wouldn't have met the people I've met. I've also said before that in creating this blog I'm actually looking forward to meeting people like me. Men who have a secret to protect, and I've achieved that goal by a hundredfold. I even met someone I love here. So throwing it all away to start something new would be stupid.
If ever I make that decision to end this blog it would really be hard. Please don't think I don't value the people I've met here, because I do. I appreciate all the help, all the advise, all the interactions I've had with the wonderful bloggers in this side of the blogosphere.
But before you react violently, let me tell you something about Engel's other personality/blog. Before creating this new home, he actually said goodby twice. But that blog up until now, is still active.
Who knows, right?
FALLING STAR (2022 version)
1 year ago
18 comments:
ive deleted my other (and older) blog because i no longer see any purpose in writing under that roof
...or maybe i was just focusing on moving on to this new chapter in life
but then again, i made sure i still go through the blogs of those who had followed my former home
too bad, i never had the courage to tell them it was me all along
extend my regards to my friend xtian.
god bless engel
(naku naman, napapaingles na ako nito ah!)
it came to a point where i had decided to delete my blog. but after a while, i returned. if ever you will be creating a new one (with exclusivity), please include me on your private list.
but for me, just continue what you've started. xp
i used to maintain a straight blog which was then read by friends, office mates and colleagues. it was my online journal at that time, a chronicle of my day-to-day "straight" life.
however, i ran out of materials to share basically because i am very careful not to let my two worlds collide. that was when i decided to open this one as john stan.
but sometimes, things do not happen as planned. in a sudden twist of fate, i almost outed myself. but then there's such a thing as "lying with conviction" and john stan remained anonymous to people he know. still, that entails closing my blog for a time.
http://mymorningsafter.blogspot.com/2009/02/truths.html
ternie was right, bloggers are smart people. and even if your two blogs do not move on the same circle, fate will find a way to disclose secrets we are not willing to share.
but rest assured that we do understand your reason for keeping your anonymity. the gay blogosphere is a spectrum of colors. and within this spectrum, there exists us whose faces and real names we cannot just let slip.
funny, some of them who i met through my blog are now linked to me via facebook together with my friends and colleagues. so far, wala pa namang naglalabas ng sekreto ko. ;)
in the long run, bloggers may found out that you are _____. but then again, engel will always be the more real one to us.
at syempre, nag-blog na ko sa comments section mo. ;)
Naiintindihan kita. :)
uhmm nakailan delete na ba ako at paalam sa blogworld lol =) okay lang magdelete. the sky won't fall... basta may copy ka ng pinagsusulat mo. pero since madami ang naka-follow sa iyo, automatic, nakasave lahat ito publicly sa mga google reader ng sa gmail account ng mga followers mo... yun ang downside. ang akal mo na private, hindi na private.
ang pinakamahalaga nag-manifest ang gusto mong gawin at paano mo gagawin or ginawa ang mga bagay bagay na gusto mo.
it's ultimately your decision pero wag naman! :P
NoooOOooooOoooOoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have those days too. minsan, naiisip ko, baka may nakakaalam na ng true identity ko other than those blogger friends that i trust. naiisip ko, baka i'm sharing TMI and worse, baka nagiiwan na ako ng breadcrums along the way.
pero aside from the paranoid impulses, narealize ko, i've made such good friends here. friends who knows the other side of me so i guess it's a fair trade.
maxwell: i know, that's why i'm having a difficult time making the decision of closing this down. pero we'll see.
rudeboy: don't worry, di kita iiwan kay ternie mag-isa. we'll play with your light saber and my parrot. =D
yoshke: true. and welcome to my blog. =)
dave: andami ko na kasi nasulat over the years, sayang nga naman kung mawala lahat yun. sigh, hirap magdecide. =(
dumenec: salamat!
xtian: we're still gonna play tekken 6. just send me a message anytime, okay?!
stanley: i've got alot of blogfriends on my facebook. but only two of them are my friends here. si ternie kasi, ayaw ako iadd. =D but thanks for your POV, i'll make a note of that. =)
hugh: yeah, i don't really find anything wrong pa naman having my two worlds cross paths. minsan nga, gusto ko na malaman ng mga friends ko sa kabila itong blog na 'to para wala nang tinatago. =)
anteros: now i'm wondering what your other blog was. if i've visited it and if i knew you back then. hmmmm.
ako na naman.
palagi na lang ako ang mali.
palagi na lang ako ang masama.
hayz.
:))
hindi na mahalaga kung ano ang aking dating tahanan.
isinara ko na nga iyon, hindi ba?
isang bagay ang aking natutunan sa aking paglalakbay
ang mukha ay nilikha nang natuon sa kaniyang harapan..iyon ay upang ituon ang kaniyang atensyon sa patutunguhan, at hindi ang kaniyang iniwan
hindi na mahalaga kung ano ang aking lumang blog.
nakasalubong ko lamang ito sa pagba-blog hop mula sa ibat ibang blog na iyong binabasa at sinusundan
at nga pala, sumasang ayon ako sa mga tinuran ni john stanley.
magkaiba man ang dalawang blog na nasa ilalim ng aking pangalan, ang mahalaga ay nirerespeto ng ilan ang aking desisyon na itago ang aking pagkakakilanlan
anteros: point taken... and drilled in my head. ;) just got curious.
ternie: no one blames ternie. we all love ternie, probably except for rudeboy, but i'm sure deep inside he wants you to play with his lightsaber. =D
ahehehe, naaaliw ako na makapalitan ka ng kuro kuro
sapagkat nararamdaman ko na may laman ang iyong ulo
intellectually assertive, but never insulting
if you're having second thoughts, you can set this up in private (invited readers only) for a while. some sort of "nagpapalamig muna" phase. then saka mo na lang ibalik.
sayang ang mga sinulat mo dito kung buburahin mo lang. =)
don't go! :'c
nyl: i'll think about it. =)
scheez: if only i'm a techie and i know how to do what you're suggesting, but i'll figure something out soon enough.
anteros: thanks. di lahat ng tao ganyan ang interpretation sakin. =)
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