INTIMACY

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked.

He gave me a smile and a nod.

"You know you don't have to," I said

"I want to make you happy."

**********
"Isa lang ang hihingin ko sa'yo," sabi ko sa kanya. Kakatapos lang ng lahat ng drama sa pagitan naming dalawa. We were finally a couple.

"What?" tanong niya.

"I just want to hear you say 'I love you' at least once a day," hiling ko.

"Yun lang pala. Wala na bang mas hihirap pa dun?" biro niya.

**********
We kissed. A long one. Passionate. I hugged him tighter. It has been awhile.

I did not want to forget the feeling of his body next to mine.

I know he felt the same. He hugged me tight too.

**********
"I'm giving you the freedom to fuck whoever you want, habang ganito pa tayo." sabi niya.

"What, you mean open relationship?" tanong ko.

"Oo."

Di nako nagsalita. Nabwisit ako sa sinabi niyang iyon.

"Wui. Dyan ka pa?"

"Mmm," sagot ko.

**********
I ran my fingers on his face. Like painting his features in my head. It might take awhile before I see him again.

He was staring at me.

"Smile," he told me.

I obliged. Like a child, he hugged me again.

He whispered, "I love you." He looked at me again. Playful this time.

I gestured for him to kiss me.

**********
"Kunico might be coming back from Japan next month," sabi niya.

"Imeet mo siya?" tanong ko.

"I don't know. I'm confused." sagot niya.

Siya yung ex na alam kong minahal niya. Muntik na silang magkaanak. Siguro kung nagkatuluyan sila, malabong naging kami.

"Basta, dyan ka lang ha, the next few weeks I'll be super busy na with school. Baka di na tayo makakapag-usap ng ganito during that time."

"Okay," yan lang ang kayang isagot ko.

**********
I came first. Could be the age. Could be the overenthusiasm. But I came first.

"Want me to give you head?" he asked.

"No," I protested, "I'm okay."

He didn't let me finish. Still wet, he went down.

The few bobs he did was good. I was delirious. But he stopped.

I looked at him.

**********
"Ang labo mo! Mamaya na tayo mag-usap!" sabi niya sabay baba ng telepono.

Hindi ko na maalala kung ano ang pinag-awayan namin.

Ilang oras din siyang hindi nagparamdam.

"Sorry," sabi ng text niya.

Di ko na talaga maalala kung ano yung di namin napagkasunduan.

**********
He looked like a kid who tasted semen for the first time. Well he did.

I laughed.

The poor kid.

"I told you you don't have to do that." I motioned for him to come closer. I hugged him.

"I don't think I could do that again," he confessed.

"Awww. It's okay." I kissed him and let him lie on my chest.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"I love you," he said.

All the doubts I had before are now gone.

He does love me.