RANTS

Allow me to rant for a bit.

I’m pissed off that the chicken patty in the crispy chicken sandwich at McDonald’s is only half the size of the bun. Same goes for their Sausage McMuffin. They’re charging us higher than other fast food chains but they’re serving us less.

Same goes for their Chicken Meals. Mini Stop has bigger chickens than McDonald’s. And Mini Stop charges less.

I am disappointed someone borrowed a couple of my posts on their blog and did not at least mention me as the source of their entry.

I am majorly pissed off at Globe Broadband for their really poor service. Specifically on Wimax. I’ve had their maintenance people come over our house three times this week alone to have it fixed. I shouldn’t have let them replace my modem in the first place as I didn’t have problems connecting to the internet back then. Your service sucks Globe Broadband!!!

I’m kinda mad at the IT department in our office because they turned off wifi access in the office. I’ve only been able to enjoy my Blackberry’s internet features for only a couple of days. You semi-suck IT department!!!

I’m disappointed at UA&P for giving their students too much schoolwork. My parents are away for the weekend yet I won’t be able to spend my time with the Kid because he’s busy finishing projects and make-up classes.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I’m fine now.

SOMEBODY SLAP ME

PS3

Xbox 360

PSP

Blackberry Curve

I’m not a techie, but these things are going to be the death of me. I have no idea how I’m gonna budget my barely minimum wage paying for all of this. And I’ve got to worry about Boracay for the summer on top of this. And I owe a couple of blog friends a little something something that I promised to give soon.

I’m spending like I’m single and rich, which I’m not, and that’s not good.

Sigh.

So from now on and until I get all of my debts paid, no more eating out. No more impulse purchases. No more unscheduled dates (I’m sorry hon). No pizza deliveries.

Just keep my expenses to a minimum. One thousand a week for the next four weeks, I think I can do that.

On the other hand, having a new Xbox is good for my 2011 goal. I’ve been sweating like a pig everyday since last week playing Dance Central. I’m not yet sure if I lost weight, but I don’t get tired easily anymore.

The first time I played it, I got exhausted dancing to Lady Gaga’s Poker Face on easy mode. Nowadays it takes me 2 playthroughs of Jay Sean’s Down, 1 of Benni Benassi’s Satisfaction, 2 of Rihanna’s Pon Du Replay and multiple tries of Calle Ocho’s I Know You Want Me before I get tired. Dancing’s a good workout. I may look ridiculous and stiff, but it’s still healthy.

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE EPIC FAILS

A couple years back in my other home I wrote about a few of my failed worldly escapades. A journal of some of the dumbest things I did when I was still younger.

Mind you, my blog back then was a straight blog, so to avoid being found out, I kept some details regarding my trysts. I don’t want to lie in my blog, so I wrote it in Filipino to avoid specifying the gender of my partners back then.

I’ve been backreading my other blog looking for something to write for this home when I stumbled upon that particular post. I thought why not tell the truth about those escapades. So I decided to translate it and share what really happened then.

Here’s the original post if you want to compare.

WHY I NORMALLY DON’T BRING PARTNERS HOME
Apart from my partner, I normally don’t bring guys to my home. I have nosy neighbours who tell my parents every detail of what they hear or say about other people. I’m the single guy in the street. I don’t want others thinking I’m not straight since most of them have been bugging me to go out with their daughters or not so hot lady friends.

Anyway, I was still in college when I brought someone home. Back then we lived in the old house. It was a bungalow. Unlike now wherein I sleep in the 2nd floor, back then my room was just beside the backyard. The guy I brought home was Jason (I mentioned him a couple of times already… he was my obsession).

He was really hot and our libidos were scorching. So we decided to lock ourselves up in my room. To cut the story short, we just popped in a porn video and started mimicking what we were watching.

In the middle of doing the dirty little deed, in the middle of delirium, my eyes chanced upon my bedroom window. And there it is the most shocking sight to behold. On the other side of my bedroom window was my grandmother.

We stared at each other for like forever. And when she finally realized she was staring at her grandson, she immediately left.

She said, “don’t mind me I’m just pulling out the laundry.”

WHY I DON’T DO SOP
If you ask me now I really don’t get the phone deed. I’ve only done it recently because me and the Kid, we don’t really see each other often. But doing the deed with strangers, I’m really baffled by it.

Back when I was still single, if someone said that they wanted to do it with me, I’d immediately cut communications with that person. It doesn’t really turn me on.

Maybe because the first time I did it, I did it with a girl. And it was hilarious. Here’s what happened.

Remember when I was really young, I was addicted to those text channels where you send your number on air hoping to find other horny teen-agers. I did meet one girl. She was game. And she sounded really hot. And I was really horny.
I was actually looking to really score that night, but the girl didn’t want to, so I settled with the phone deed. In fairness she seemed to know what she was doing. She was describing what she was doing. Taking off her clothes. Her undies. She was asking me to moan for her. And I was doing what she asked me to do.

But then she said, “shit, nangingisay ako!”

I was like huh? WTF?! Did she just say nangingisay? And I imagined her having seizure or being electrocuted or something. And I laughed hysterically. I can’t stop laughing because I was imagining her having seizure.

Yeah, she dropped the phone on me.

WHY I DON’T DO SEB
That text channel was like the source of some of my epic fails in my youth. I’ve had a few hits with the channel (with Jason and some other hot one night stands), but a lot of the people I met there were epic fails.

I think I was enjoying unemployment that time so midnights are really like afternoons for me. I was always tuned in to that channel hoping I’d find someone interesting… or really horny. I found the latter.

The guy I met was witty. He was funny and he seemed really smart. He wasn’t boring. And he sounded like he was really good looking on the phone. So we flirted for a couple of days. Then he invited me over to his apartment since he said he was alone that time. I was horny (obviously) so I thought what the heck. We need to have sex every once in awhile. And there I went.

I really had this picture of the guy in my mind from listening to his voice. He kind of sounded like that kid from the Mara Clara remake. He really sounded good. Like when God showered man with great voices he was up front and center. But he left just in time when God gave away good looks.

He was really a challenge to look at. I was like, fuck, what have I gotten myself into?! But what can I do really, I was already there. And he was already all over me, kissing my neck, grabbing my crotch. He was in heat, and unfortunately I was the sun. He pulled my shorts and started sucking. But I wouldn’t get stiff. It was the longest five minutes of my life. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I pulled it out of him and put on my clothes. I apologized and I left hurriedly.

Just as I left their gate it started raining. It was a different kind of wet that I wanted to that night.

WHY I ALWAYS BRING CONDOMS
I think it was about six years ago when I met another horny guy in the text chatroom. I’ve had so many fails already that time that I got smarter. Before meeting up with people I first look at their Friendster profile. And at that time I hit the jackpot.

The guy was not bad to look at. He had a great figure. And best of all he liked me too.

We both didn’t have a place back then so we decided to rent a room. We went to Eurotel in Las Piñas. We were already in heat even before getting there grabbing each other every chance we got. When we got in the room, we were all over each other. Kissing. Licking. Necking. Petting. Whatever, it was game on! It was my first time doing it in a motel and I wanted it to be great. But then he asked me…

“You have protection?”

“What?”

“Condom?”

“None, I’ll just pull it out when I’m almost there…” I said.

“No, I don’t do it without protection.”

Fuck. I didn’t have one. Well I did, but it was four years old. And I didn’t think to buy one on the way. We were horny as hell, but we didn’t want to buy one anymore. And I didn’t want to ring room service if they have one because it’s embarrassing.

We ended up just jerking each other. So anti-climactic.

We slept beside each other with a pillow in between us.

******************
Relish this post as I don't do this normally in my blogs and probably wouldn't do this again for a long time.

NO SUGAR COATING

“I want to talk to you, but when you’re there, I don’t know what to say anymore.”

“Don’t be clingy.”

“I just want you to be malambing.”

“I wouldn’t want you to be mature if that means you’d lose the things I love about you.”

“Last night, I was so angry that I could have broken up with you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I wouldn’t be patient for you all the time.”

“Talk to me when you don’t have tantrums anymore.”

“Do you still love me?” “I don’t know.”

“Stop saying sorry if you’re still going to do it.”

“I’m getting tired.”

“Do you want to cool off?”

That’s how the Kid and I are when we fight. But none of us wants to give up. More than anything I know we love each other. It hurts when you hear those words again in your head. I’m sure he feels the same way.

Everyone goes through this.

We’re fine.

I’m just writing this, because it only sank in that words when said, they hurt. I want to remember how much it does so I’ll be careful in saying them.

IN REAL LIFE

Writers (specially if he or she is a very good one) know how to twist or exaggerate some facts about themselves to make them sound more likeable. Giving off a different impression to their readers that are far from who they really are in real life.

I'm not sure what kind of impression I'm giving off with my posts but let me tell you, some of them may not be true. I'll tell you what kind of person Engel really is. Engel in real life.

QUIET.
Believe it or not, I am a quiet guy. I'm more of a listener than a talker. Maybe because I'm not that good of a storyteller. I could tell you the most exciting thing that happened in my life, and I won't fail to make you feel bored. I don't know. Ask me to write that story and I'll be able to make it look more alive and colorful, but I'm not that good in telling it. There are people who're born like that I guess. But. And that's a big but. Once you get to know me better or if we have something in common, that would make me talk more. I really have alot to say, I guess it just depends if I know the person will be interested in it or not.

SUPLADO.
I'll outright say it. I am a snob. Really. I'm kidding. That's the perception about me because first of all I'm quiet. And I often look serious. I do know how to smile, and I'm mighty approachable. But the thing is, deep down I'm really a shy person. I'm an introvert, and people tend to misinterpret that into being a snob. I guess I just don't like to make the first move. Maybe I'm afraid to get turned down when I try to talk to someone.

FEELING GWAPO.
Engel would like to think he's good-looking. Confidence within could be felt outside. I know I tell stories of people who get attracted to me, which I turn down (even if I know I'll never end up with anyone as good looking as they were), they're true by the way, but I'm not that attractive. Maybe a little. Probably if I weigh less. Definitely if I decide to pamper myself more. I'm not vain and I like to keep my life uncomplicated, and if people see that as me not caring for myself. I don't really care. I'm smart.

NICE GUY.
I am and I'm proud of that. Even if sometimes that means people get to push me over. I believe in karma. What goes around comes around. And I'm turning 29. If by now I don't know how to understand and cope with people's different personalities, I'll never learn. But like I said, I'm a nice guy. I am generous to my friends or to people I'd like to become friends with. I give way to other people in lines, in almost anything (unless it's related with money). I share my things, my food, my clothes, sometimes cash (but I don't lend more than 100 bucks to people unless I trust that person).

NAUGHTY. Call him what you want, but Engel's still a man. I sometimes let my disco stick do the thinking. I'm sometimes weak. Nuff said.

THE EXPERIMENT

Paano kaya kung si Gillboard ang nagsulat dito?

Wala kasing maisip isulat yung ingliserong mapagpanggap dito. Kaya ako muna ang magrurule over sa tahanang ito. Ngayon lang naman. Papatayin ako ni Engel, pag nabawasan siya ng readers dahil sa akin.

Wag kayo mag-alala one time lang ito. Nag-eeksperimento lang siya. Hindi bagay ang isang gaya ni Gillboard sa ganitong lugar.

So nosebleed!!!

Iniisip ko, gusto ko mag gay speak sa blog na ito. Mga tipong chever chever. Witwittiririt. Chorva.

Kaya lang wala akong maisip. At tuwing iniisip ko, medyo nasusuka ako. Hindi bagay!!!

Alam niyo naman siguro na out na ako sa aking tahanan. Kaya medyo nahihirapan akong pag-ibahin yung dalawang blog. Minsan nag-iisip ako kung ano ang isusulat ni Engel dito. O kung may naisulat na ako, minsan naiisip ko parang mas bagay iyon na isulat sa ingles at ipost dito.

Ang hirap talaga pag dalawang blog ang kailangan na imaintain. Masakit sa ulo. Kaya siguro hinahayaan niyang minsan si Kasintahan, este si Kid pala na magsulat para sa kanya. Kaya lang madalas pag pinapareview ni Kid yung sinulat nito eh nagkakamigraine ang lolo niyo. Kailangan niya kasing namnamin ang mga nakasulat dahil kinuquiz siya nito.

Binabasa ko kanina ang mga sinusulat ni Engel noon. Ang dami nang pinagbago. Iba na nga talaga siguro dahil hindi na siya single. Mas maikli na kwento. Mas di na makulit. Wala na kasi siyang iniimpress. Wag niyong ipagkalat ito ha, dati kasi nagsusulat yon para magpapansin sa mga kras niya sa blogosperyo. Ang landi lang.

Pansin ko nga, hindi na rin siya masyadong nag-iiikot sa mga kablog niya dito. Kilala pa kaya siya ng mga dati niyang kalandian sa pink blog world? Kilala pa niya kaya yung mga nilandi niya noon? Ulyanin si Engel eh.

Napaisip ako. Kung si Gillboard kaya ang nagkukwento dito sa Engel Tells All, pareho pa rin kaya ang mga makikilala niyang kaibigan dito? Mas kumportable na kaya si Gillboard magsabi ng mga salitang chenes, cheverlyn at churvaloo?

Hula ko, kung si Gillboard ang nagsulat dito naging sex blog ito.

IN 2011

No New Year's Resolution this year.

No goals that I know I won't be able to achieve.

Nothing new this year.

I only have one.

One that I wanted to achieve since 2008.

I don't care about my savings.

I already have a lovelife.

New friends won't be hard to find.

And I love the friends I have now.

And I'm pretty sure I'm going to get promoted this year.

So I only have one thing to achieve in 2011.

I will lose weight.