THE BLOGGER

Of all the exes that have been mentioned in my blog there’s only been one that I haven’t written yet. I think it’s about time that I write about this now. One last ex that I haven’t written about here in my home. The last ex I had.

The blogger.

It was I think almost a year ago when I met the blogger. I communicated simply because I wanted to ask for pasalubong from when he comes back to Manila from the province. Apparently, that simple gift-asking turned into flirting. One thing lead to another, and then a day later, the blogger became my beau.

Yeah, it was a whirlwind thing. Looking back, I really didn’t think it through. I was already hesitant when the question was first asked. During that time, I was really digging ‘the kid’. But then, the kid really wasn’t asking for something more than friendship. And then here comes the blogger who doesn’t really know me, asking me to be his beau. Subconsciously, I think I wanted ‘the kid’ to be jealous. So I said yes.

Credit due to the blogger, I did enjoy the first couple of weeks of the relationship. The breakfast dates were wonderful. And he’s the only relationship I had, that my friends actually liked (kid hasn’t met any of my real friends yet, just blog friends). On our first week even, we went out of town. Quezon. That was nice.

We saw each other every day. And I think that’s where the problem started. I saw the blogger every day. I have this personality, I guess, wherein I get saturated easily. I didn’t get the alone time which I was used to (being single for 2 years prior to this one). I felt strangled. Caged.

And then there’s the kid. If I did subconsciously plan to make the kid jealous, it worked. The kid became more attentive. Sweeter. He got my attention. And so I started cheating, I guess.

The difference between the two, is that I know ‘the kid’ much better. I’ve known him longer. And whenever we talk, we never ran out of things to say to each other. The blogger was the opposite. Conversations over the phone usually includes, ‘hmmm’, ‘what’ ‘la lang’, and ‘I love you’. Or I guess I stopped trying.

Things didn’t really help especially when I told a few blog friends the identity of my beau. Some laughed. There was one who was cryptic about the blogger. I didn’t really ask too much detail because for one, the blogger was honest with me regarding his issues with other bloggers. But as they say, once a seed is planted, it’s not going to go away.

And I was just bad. Towards the end of the relationship, say when I was talking to the blogger, whenever I received a text from ‘the kid’ that he wants to talk, I’d hang up on him to call the latter. I wasn’t being fair. I wasn’t being honest. And that was wrong.

One day when I went out to meet a friend, I told him my situation. I realized if I let this continue, I’m running the risk of losing them both. So I had to choose. The person who makes me feel secure. Or the person who makes me smile.

I chose the person who makes me smile.

That night, when I got home, I texted the blogger and asked for a cool off.

I gave him a call a few days later and he asked me if things could still be fixed. I didn’t want to give him false hopes. Apart from our school, we had nothing in common. And I don’t want to hurt him more than I already did.

It took me awhile to write this. It’s hard when you know you’re the villain of the story. I was the bad guy. I was in the wrong. I’ve apologized for it. And karma’s already got me twice over. But it’s been a year already. I’d like to believe we’ve moved on. He’s got his new beau, and I’m with my ‘kid’. Things are okay now.

Relationships are hard. But it’s a tough life.

BOOKS

I read books too. There was a time in my life that I had to buy one book come payday. I love reading. It takes me to a world different from my own. Whenever I read one, I feel I'm right beside the hero/heroine on their journey to become a better person or make the world a better place.

I love reading books.

I just don't know why I stopped liking them.

THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK
This was the first novel I bought. My initiation to the geek world. My first foray to the world of literature. And in my opinion, Michael Crichton's best work ever. When I was younger, I was immersed in the world of Dino Riders, so reading something about dinosaurs gets me really giddy. Back then, I liked bringing it to school, it made me look smart. In a school full of boys, reading novels gets you noticed by the teachers easier. Specially if you do that in the middle of class. Yeah, I favored this over algebra, that's why I almost failed in high school. But I will never forget this book.

THE GRAVEYARD BOOK
This is my favorite Neil Gaiman book. One of his bests, I'd say. It's sort of like The Jungle Book only set in the graveyard. It's a mishmash of Bod's different adventures that becomes related in the end. Brilliant writing, I should say. Unforgettable characters. Smart script. And poignant storytelling. Everything that Gaiman is known for.

THE HUNGER GAMES SERIES
I haven't finished this book yet, am about done with the second book, but it's already frontrunning for the best title I've read all year. Granted, this was one of only two books I've read this year. Katniss Everdeen is one of the most fully developed literary character I've read this year. I'm looking forward to finishing the trilogy this weekend. Hopefully, I won't be busy
much and sleepy so I won't be bothered when finishing this title.

HARRY POTTER (THE WHOLE SERIES)
What's not to love? I've read each book multiple times loving it more each time I finish it again. I love magic. The mythology of Harry Potter is just engrossing. I've seen all the movies, bought all the books, have their dvd's. And I'm so looking forward to when the movie opens a few weeks from now. My absolute favorite of all seven books, probably would be The Prisoner of Azkaban. In my opinion, this would be the best thing JK Rowling wrote. Sets up the rest of the series.

THE LIFE OF PI
I love this book. This book made me cry. It made me think. It made me feel for the characters. I don't know. Books about animals tugs something in me. It's really brilliant, specially when you get to the end, when the writer begins to make you question the whole story that you've read. It was really brilliant, if you ask me. I forgot the name of the author of this book, but he has a new series out now, and I want to buy that one too.

I have a lot more actually, I love Dan Brown books, Memoirs of a Geisha, I find Nick Hornby books witty. I've lost sleep finishing Mitch Albom's inspiring books.

My geekiness is not only about video games and comic books. Believe it or not, I read boks too. Soon, I'll start reading the non-fictional ones.

I want to become worldly.

WHIRLWIND

Was reading Iurico’s latest endeavour with romance and I realized what’s wrong with PLU relationships.

Not that he’s doing anything wrong. This is only my opinion. I may be wrong, but I’ve been looking at patterns, with mine and people I read about in the blogosphere. We love whirlwind romances. We meet someone today, and then tomorrow we’re a couple. A week / month later, we break up.

This is a generalization. I’m sure not everyone does this. But it is common. I read about it a lot. I’ve done it a few times. And now I ask, what’s wrong with waiting?

You hear a lot of these stories. Two people danced with each other for the first time one night, the next day they’re a couple. Someone texts or talks over the phone for 5 hours, and on the sixth they’re already in a relationship. You see someone eyeing you at a mall, an hour later you have a boyfriend.

With my past endeavours, I remember feeling that after a couple of hours conversing with each other, that I already know a person. Add the fact that the guy was sweet, and the next day I was updating my relationship status. A few weeks later, I discover things about the person that I really didn’t like.

I don’t know why people always have to be in a hurry. We settle for what we see on the surface, then regret when we finally discover their imperfections, things that are irritating about them. And then we realize we don’t know them at all. A few days later, we’re single again.

Whatever happened to the getting-to-know-each-other stage? What happened to the courting period? Or am I just thinking of straight relationships? Why do people have to be in a hurry to fall in love?

MIXED FEELINGS

RELIEF
I'm no longer in a relationship with a teenager.

I think I can breathe a sigh of relief now. Before when someone asks me how old is the guy I'm with, I was kinda reluctant giving out his age. They always tease me of being a cougar, a pedophile, if given the chance, someone might even call Bantay Bata 163.

I don't have to worry about it now. Not anymore.

We did not break up.

He's turning 20 this Sunday.

STRESS
Sometimes dating the Kid is kinda stressful. You see he's still in college, and you know what that means: term papers, projects, the whole lot. And being the supportive boyfriend that I am, I help out.

There are times at work I'm so stressed out, I want to go back to school. But sometimes when I help out, I change my mind. College is hard.

Although I like helping him out. We have a similar course in college, and my marketing skill is a bit rusty. So helping out makes me feel great. I'm way outdated in terms of Marketing, but it's nice to have your brain working if only a little.

ANXIETY
Sometimes I feel anxious writing about my relationship here in my blog. I don't want to seem like the type of person who's in a relationship only for the first time. I didn't like reading them in others, and I don't want to be that kind of guy.

But then again, I'm learning in this relationship. I'm growing up. And I blog because it's always great to read back on how much I've changed.

So yeah, puke all you want, be bitter, be happy, I don't really care. I like writing about my Kid. And I don't think I'll be stopping anytime soon.

QUICK HITS IX

I think I’m not gonna rant anymore. I tend to get misunderstood.

Had a few responses offline from people who’ve read my blog about the last post. I was just speaking my mind. No, it’s not about another blogger. I’m not angry. I was a bit disappointed about some things I found out about what a friend’s (?) been saying behind my back.

Anyway enough about the rants, I’m all about positivity, optimism and all that crap.

**********
I had an interesting conversation with a friend regarding blog readers the other day. It was really interesting and made me think about the people who read my blog.

It made me think of the profile of the people who read or follow my blog. I’m pretty sure 95% are guys who live alternative lifestyles. But I’d like to know more specifically, what kind of people my readers are.

Like how many are smart? Or how many are shallow? I know I don’t have a lot of ‘fabulous’ bloggers or readers (those who openly flaunt their sexuality), I think they usually flock those sexually charged blogs.

I don’t know, but I think it would be nice to know what kind of people read my blog now… if there are still people who read my blog.

**********
I’m having a hard time finding really interesting blogs these days. There are a few, but they’re like popular. Where are those low profile yet awesome bloggers these days? I miss those writers. New bloggers nowadays seem to be all about getting attention.

Now that made me think, I’ve been following some note-worthy bloggers, reading them regularly because they are awesome. But I haven’t linked them. It’s more like following these bloggers silently. They are great finds mind you, really talented writers.

Am I being selfish not sharing them with the public? I mean if you find something beautiful, it’s meant to be shared, right. But I can’t. Well, more like I don’t want to. Not yet. These treasures are my finds. I’d like to savour them first. They’re not yet corrupted by the idea of wanting to become popular. Their posts are sincere.

Oh and one of them looks kinda hot (yeah I'm stalking, but nothing to worry bout hon. :D).

**********
I’ve lost six pounds in the last week. I have to keep it up; the kid wants me to be fitter. I’m not doing it for him; I’m doing the whole healthy living thing for myself. It was once said, our age difference is eight years, and if I want us to spend more time together I have to start taking care of myself.

I’ve been putting it off, but I’m really going to start working out again really soon. The goal is to get back to my college body.

As far as I can tell, I’m off to a great start.

Getting sick recently helped me lose weight so that was awesome.

SINCERITY

Can someone truly be happy for others?

I’m not really sure. The world is full of bitter people. They feign happiness for people, but rant about it with others.

It doesn’t suck. I guess its human nature for people to be bitter. Maybe it’s because they don’t own what other people have. It could also be because they can’t do stuff as well as others. Or they're just jealous.

But it makes you question the sincerity. Do people really mean it when they say they’re happy for you?

I mean if you're going to be insincere about it, might as well just shut up, right?

It just makes someone sound like a sore loser.

Yeah, I'm a jerk. I'm an ass and a prick.

And I'm not gonna apologize about it.

OCTOBER

There's alot of reasons to celebrate this month of October. A lot of reasons to be happy. Let us count the ways:

• This is the start of the richness months (October til January) at work.
• Me and my 'kid' will celebrate our first year of knowing each other this month and we'll celebrate by going out of town. Our first out-of-town trip.
• And we'll be celebrating our 5th month as a couple this month too.
• At work, this month we'll celebrate our first year of going live on our Operating Unit.
• Halloween is just around the corner. If Rudeboy will make good on his word, that means I'm about to meet him.
• October is also 'kid's' birthday month and sembreak. Hopefully we'll see each other more this month.
• Our clique's second baby will be baptized this month. Too bad I don't have money right now, and won't be able to join them.
• I like that it's rainy this season. Makes sleeping easier. I love sleeping.
• I'm excited because Christmas is just around the corner, and I'm not gonna be single this Christmas.
• This month, some balikbayan friends will be staying over. I remember she has this cute kids for sons. I reckon they'd be teenagers now. Can't wait to see how they look these days, I bet they're hot.