IN 2010

1. I met with bloggers that I’ve followed here and in my other home.
2. I started to become more spontaneous
3. I jerked off in the office comfort room
4. I flirted with a girl in Starbucks
5. I outed myself in my straight blog
6. I attempted and miserably failed to close this blog
7. I bought a Playstation 3
8. For the first time I went to a company Christmas Party
9. For the first time in my life, went to Star City
10. I celebrated my birthday thrice
11. I went to church more
12. I had more sex than I ever had in years
13. And it’s just with one person
14. I learned how to download stuff using torrent
15. I went to my high school classmate’s mini reunion and felt out of place
16. I transferred to another team at work for promotion
17. I lost weight
18. I gained more weight than I lost
19. I got myself a funeral plan
20. I chose to get cremated when I die
21. I almost bought a condominium unit near the airport
22. I spent the most amount this year on comics than any other year
23. I got hooked on The Walking Dead (paid 8000 to complete the series)
24. I changed my taste in comic books, more indie and less mainstream books
25. I had a dengue scare
26. For the first time went to a wedding of a good friend
27. I got my heart broken
28. And had those broken pieces fixed.

By the way, the Kid wanted to meet some of my friends online, so we thought since I'll be alone on the second weekend of the year why not have a little get together. It's going to be in my house in Parañaque. If anyone's interested to come, let me know. I just want to prove to him that I do have blog friends. :)

CHRISTMAS GIFTS

What I got yesterday:

From The Kid: Spent the whole day with me on Christmas Day. And homemade Caldereta.
From Officemate: The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson
From Balikbayan Neighbor: XXXL Hanes Grandpa Underwear (I'm not big dammit!!!)
From Grandma: CK One Gift Set (150ml CK One, moisturizer, body wash, and sampler)
From Blog Friend: DVD copy of Scream 3
From Myself: Complete Set of The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman
From Myself: Blu-ray copy of Inception

Seeing what I got, I could not ask for more. Maybe the right sized underwear.

I hope you enjoyed Christmas this year. And advanced Happy New Year to everyone!!!

PUERTO GALERA

Some things you need to learn about me and Puerto Galera:

• I have been to PG several times, and I've seen alot of gay people (they say it's the 2nd gay capital of the Philippines, next to Bed), but I've never really seen 'gay' people there. Like those who are not that out. I've only seen the trannies. It's the broken gaydar. I think I need to fix it. Not that I'm going to do anything with the knowledge. But it's nice to know.
• The food I love to eat whenever I'm in Galera is their kebab. I love their pork kebabs. I love watching while their cooks grill them. I like watching one of the cooks. All sweaty and stuff.
• Puerto Galera has been the source of alot of me and the kid's arguments. This has been long delayed. The original plan was to go there in October, during his sembreak. But it got pushed and pushed. The last fight we had was last week, because the kid squandered alot of his budget for our trip. Imagine my relief now that finally we got there.
  
• December is off peak in Puerto Galera, but there still are a LOT and I mean a lot of good looking foreigners out there. Too bad with them are what my kid calls 'exotics'. I swear one of the women I saw there with a good looking foreigner looked like my neighbor's yaya.
• When travelling via roro, avoid sitting next to or in front of a kid. They always end up vomiting.
  
• If you stay in the water for too long, some fishies will come up to you to feast on dead skin cells on your feet. It's cheaper than what you pay for in the fish spa in Manila Ocean Park.
• Whenever you go out of town, whether it be a beach, mountain or elsewhere, when you're with friends, it feels great. But when you go out and you're with someone you love, it'll be unforgettable.
  

THE SIMPLE THINGS

Engel is not really difficult to please. He’s really easy. So easy, he’s like a man-whore.

These are the things that make him smile.

Army Navy Freedom Fries and Cheese Quesadilla
Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donut
James Morrison and Jon Mclaughlin songs
Starbucks Venti Iced White Chocolate Mocha
Video Games
A sweet text from The Kid
Any kind of text message from his friends
Oishi Caramel Popcorn and Jack & Jill Piattos
New blog comments (even those from anonymous commentors who disagree with him)
Videoke

See, he’s not that hard to please. Is he?

BUSTED RADAR

My gaydar is busted. I don’t think mine ever works. I’m always surprised whenever someone comes out of the closet. Knowing that, I can’t sniff out people like us, unless they’re really out. But sometimes my ears wander, and the things I hear make me suspicious if the people who utter them are really straight or not. Or maybe I’m just malicious.

While in the FX:
Hunky PATTS Student 1: Napanuod ko kagabi si Jewel Mische, ang ganda niya ngayon pre.
PATTS Student 2: Yung sa TV Patrol ba yun? Sa channel 2 na daw siya?
HPS1: Oo. Ewan ko ba, mas maganda talaga siya ngayon.
PS2: Lahat naman ng lumilipat sa 2, gumaganda.
HPS1: Oo nga no, si Karylle. Ka-love team niya ngayon si Gerald
PS2: Ows? Ano na nangyari sa kanila ni Kim Chiu?
HPS1: Hiwalay sila.
PS2: Ah talaga? Sayang naman.
HPS1: Bakit pre, Kimerald ka ba?
PS2: Di no!!! Bea – John Lloyd to. Solid!!!
HPS1: hahaha. Ako Bea – Sarah.

Another instance in the FX:
Girlfriend: Bakit di mo sinasagot yung tawag ko kanina?
Boyfriend: Nanunuod ako ng Glee (this was I think a couple of weeks ago, the wedding episode).

And lastly, a few weeks ago at a colleague’s videoke party:
Cute Guy: (sings Too Many Walls)
Me: Is that guy gay?
Colleague: No. He’s straight. He just likes to sing 80’s songs.
Me: Ahhhhhh. Cool.

I’m confused.

Or disappointed.

OF THOSE WHO WON'T GO AWAY

If there’s one thing that Engel is not comfortable in, it’s dealing with exes. As much as possible he does not want to be dealing with them. They’re bitter. They compete. They remind you of your past mistakes.

Last Sunday, Engel went to Marikina to meet up with his old friends when lo and behold the first person to greet him in the city is the one person he wants to be avoiding. Cedric, the good time guy.

Cedric was the subordinate when Engel was still a Supervisor. They would sneak off in the middle of the shift to make out in his apartment. He was the ex, who was just all about the sex. Well, to be honest, the sex was great. But he also made Engel one of his male mistresses. Engel was number three. So it did not work out. Now, the good time guy is an indie film actor.

He was with number one. When their eyes met, the good time guy’s eyes widened. It could be surprise. Or shock. He certainly did not expect to bump into Engel that day.

Engel can only say hi. And fake a smile.

The ex greeted him. It was an awkward moment. Engel noticed the ex immediately grabbed his current’s hand. The ex mouthed ‘my boyfriend’ to Engel while pointing at the current.

Engel nodded.

Out of nowhere, the ex grabbed his current’s face and gave him a wet one. Then they left.

Okay, Engel thought. That was mature. It immediately reminded him how bad the relationship was. As awesome as the sex was, the relationship was equally bad.

Engel smirked. In his mind, he felt bad for the current. He was old, bald, and Engel is pretty sure that Cedric’s cheating on him. Thank God, Engel’s grown up and chose better.

Sigh.

Exes.

Can’t live with them.

And they just won’t go away.

But then again, Engel is somebody's ex too.

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT POSITIVITY

Tis the season of emoness, depression and suicidal tendencies... It’s Christmas once again!!!

This would be the second holiday season I’d be spending as a half of a couple, my first time as an adult. I really have a lot to say about it, but I think the few people who still find time to read my blog, amongst the hundreds of brilliant personal blogs these days, are already getting sick of my posting cheesy write-ups.

If there’s one thing I’m proud about my blogs, it’s that I rarely post emo crap in it. I’m not a big fan of emo posts. Unless I know the writer personally, I have low tolerance on depressing things. I’m a believer that there are better things to do to overcome it than just writing about it.

It’s fine writing one every once in awhile. But NOT. Every. Fucking. Time.

My take on that, is these people don’t know how to appreciate the little good things in life. It’s really pathetic. That’s why I hate it when I write these kinds of posts.

This post was supposed to be about positivity. I got carried away on my intro. When the year started, one of my resolutions for 2010 is to change perspective in some aspects of life. A positive outlook does great things. Pragmatists might find it a big load of crap. But if you truly believe in it, eventually these become truths.

Anyway, I think a great number of people who get depressed during the holiday season are those who are still single. Or the poor. Oh, and at least for this year, the people near Mt. Bulusan. So before I move away again from what I’m supposed to write here’s my point: nothing’s going to happen if you’re too pessimistic. You have to do something.

At the very least change how you view things.

· Say if you’re single, at least you’ll have more budget for yourself.
· Or at least no one’s going to force you to watch that cheesy Filipino film entry in the filmfest.
· And you can flirt with others without worrying of being called a cheating whore. Just a whore.
· For those who don’t have money, think of it this way, at least you can finally start the diet you’ve been promising to start a few years ago.
· Or since you’ll be stuck at home, you can now start bonding with your family.
· Or at least you can make your own gift to give to others, and tell them as simple as it is, it came from the heart.
· If you’re disagreeing with your parents, think of it as an opportunity for you to finally become independent.

Again, my point is to stop sulking and complaining. Do something about it.

MY AMNESIA BOY

Last week, because I had too much time to spare and a little budget to spend, I decided to see My Amnesia Girl.

It is a typical Filipino romcom whose ending was ruined because someone thought they didn’t want the ending to be cliché. Anyway, I’m not going to rant about the film because even with the crappy ending, I still liked it.

It’s really not the film that I wanted to talk about. But there was something about the story that made me ponder.

Is there anything or anyone that happened or came to my life that I wanted to forget?

Unlike Irene (Toni Gonzaga), I haven’t been left standing alone on the altar by my groom. But there are certain things in my life that I know I’d have done without.

Exes.

Embarrassing moments.

Frienemies.

Bad decisions.

I’m not young anymore. I’ve made a lot of bad choices, and there are times I’d wish I could forget all of them. The saying that those things make you better persons in the end sometimes you’d think its crap. You know you’d still be a better person even if your paths haven’t crossed.

There are a couple of things I wanted to forget. Stupid people and wrong choices. But I guess I have to live with it.

How about you, is there anything/anyone you want to forget?

UNDERSTANDING AQUINAS

The metaphysics of the ‘IS’: The Esse of Aquinas

This is my attempt to help people better understand Aquinas’ Metaphysics.

We have to begin with the core teaching of his Metaphysics, which is esse. To Aquinas, esse is the ‘IS’ or the existence. It is the most essential facet of a ‘being’ (note that throughout this essay we’ll use the word as a noun). In recognizing the importance of esse, we have to first understand the concept of ‘being’.

Let’s have one example to explain Aquinas’ esse, which is this sentence: The runner is running.

We say that the runner is a being. He is a being because he is a ‘someone’ (but a being can actually be anything in the realm of space and time). To Aquinas, a being constitutes two things: essence and esse.

Let’s first discuss essence because it’s easier to understand.

The essence characterizes the being: (1) as it is; and (2) as opposed to other beings.

Thus, we say that what distinguishes a runner from a singer or a dancer is his action, which is running. In this sense, a runner runs otherwise he would be someone else. Therefore, running is the essence of being a runner.

Now let’s discuss esse, the harder concept.

In the sentence, the runner is running, esse is the ‘IS’ insofar as esse is existence. The esse gives rise to the being as ‘it is’ (essence). But, as Aquinas would say, the intellect cannot understand the ‘IS’ without a reference to a being because it is the latter that justifies the former. Thus, we come to know that there ‘IS a runner’. (Note that by knowing the runner we are grasping its essence and not really the esse. This is the reason why some philosophers regard esse as within essence, which is wrong according to Aquinas)

At this point, we make it clear that we are talking about existence in general, whether in thought (Santa Clause ‘IS’ fat) or in reality (the Eiffel Tower ‘IS’ huge).

Now, what distinguishes Aquinas’ esse from other philosophers’ esse is his understanding of its nature. To him, esse is perfect in itself. The being only possesses esse and acts through it to reveal its essence. Thus, Aquinas asserts the superiority of esse over essence. (This is also the key ingredient to his position on the supremacy of God’s esse, which he deems as the First Cause of all things)

In summary, we say that through esse a being exists. Existence is pertained as an act because ‘to be’ is to exist already. And precisely because the being ‘IS’ (the act of existence) we are able to know ‘what it is’ (essence). Thus, Aquinas would say “Aguire Sequitur Esse” or “Action follows being”. But, we are not saying that the process is sequential but rather simultaneous.

I hope this helped in understanding Aquinas’ esse.

*************

I decided to share this blog with the 'kid' as he does not w ant to open his own blog. This is how I'm becoming a little more worldly. Learning philosophy.

WHEN YOU'RE NOT THE THIRD WHEEL

I have been a third wheel for a very long time, joining couple friends on their dates. It’s awkward. You have to look away when the couples are being cheesy. You try not to puke when they kiss in front of you. It is hard work. Sitting at the back of the car and listening to them tell you some of their dates, knowing full well that you’re not in the dating scene.

I have endured that hundreds of times with my friends.

It’s only now that I realize it’s also difficult being one of the couples and having someone join you as a third wheel.

Last weekend, me and the Kid went out on a date and were joined by a friend who wanted to meet my beau. The date went great; we had a lot of fun. It was me and the Kid’s first time to go to Star City. The fact that the whole thing was his treat, made it awesome.

Anyway, as fun as it was, I found it kind of difficult because there’s someone else apart from the two of us on that date. I had to balance my attention from the Kid and the third wheel. It’s not hard, really. But still, there are things you’d rather do alone than when in front of someone else.

- You constantly have to ask the third wheel if she’s okay.
- Although they’re polite, sometimes you can’t just choose a movie to watch just because you and the beau want to see a particular film.
- You can’t be really sweet with your partner when in front of the third wheel.
- It’s more expensive treating two people than just one.
- Sometimes it’s going to be an issue, especially if the partner does not like the third wheel.
- There are also times you’ll get annoyed because your partner talks to the third wheel more than he/she talks to you.

But then again…

- It is nice when you hear your partner proclaims how much he loves you to the third wheel.
- It’s great when you know that he wants to get to know the people that you love.
- It’s cute when you try to steal kisses or hold hands when the other person’s (the third wheel, not the beau) not around.
- And it’s great when at the end of the day, your friend will tell you that he/she approves of the person you love.

QUICK HITS X: LOW-PROFILE BLOGGERS

Been blog hopping lately, and I must say I’m really impressed with a lot of the new bloggers emerging on this side of the blogosphere.

Gone were the days when sex was the main hook of writers. Heck, even Soltero’s starting to become sentimental.

But the new ones these days, I’m just wowed by how talented some of the new writers have become. I get nosebleed every time I open the blog of one of the new people I follow. The last time I’ve read so many awesome online journals was when this blog was still new.

Sex still sells though. There’s this one blog I keep on following, not because of his posts but because he’s just hot. He doesn’t do sex posts, which is great, and he’s low profile. I like low profile bloggers.

****************
Speaking of low profile bloggers or bloggers in general, I wonder if all of them open up blogs to become famous.

A lot may disagree, but I think people nowadays do this to get noticed, to become popular. There are even bloggers who put up a blog so they’d be able to meet other bloggers too.

I’m not going to lie but there was a time when I wanted to become a celebrity through my blog. That’s a long shot, still is, but there are days when I hope to achieve that. I’m pretty sure a lot of people share the same sentiment. I mean if that’s not an intention, you could always keep the blog private. Or better yet, just stay writing on journals or notebooks.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to become a celebrity or famous using blogs as a medium. It is a growing trend which shows no signs of declining soon.

I shouldn’t really be worrying or thinking about this too much. Everyone’s got a reason for writing, and it’s their home. I shouldn’t be concerned too much.

I shouldn't be concerned at all.

SOMETHING LIGHT: SLEEPYHEAD

I haven't been posting anything light here in a long time, have I? This blog wasn't supposed to be about me ranting about other gay people or raving about my love life. This wasn't how my home used to be.

Maybe I've grown up. Or maybe I've become immature. Who knows.

This is why maintaining two blogs is hard.

Anyway, back to the light post thing. This may seem familiar to some of you because I just posted this on my other home.

Last Friday, the Kid and I stayed out late. The Kid's really talkative and sometimes he's just like a child having sugar rush or something. So we were like trying to go to bed already, but he's still wide awake, while I was trying to rest already.

I guess, this is me when I get really sleepy.

Kid: Hon, sino nga yung kontrabida dun sa Betty La Fea?
Me: Si Marcella.
K: Sino nga si Marcella?
M: Si Stella Yulo (HR Manager from where I'm working).
K: Sino si Stella Yulo?
M: Yung kasabayan ni Hopia.
K: Huh, sino si Hopia?
M: Yung sa Going Bulilit.
K: Hon, parang di naman ata magka-age si Hopia tsaka si Stella Yulo.
M: (I woke up)

K: Hon, bakit hindi pa kinakasal sina Morris and Maybe (a couple of my best friends)
M: Kasi magpapalit pa sila ng pangalan.
K: Bakit nila kailangan magpalit ng pangalan?
M: Syempre kasi natatakot sila.
K: Saan naman sila natatakot?
M: Ano ba, e di sa mga terorista.

K: blah blah blah (I really don't remember what we were talking about)
M: Teka lang hon, three minutes, magsusulat lang ako ng short story (snore)
K: (he gave up and went to sleep too)

I remember there was one time also, we were on the phone, and in the middle of him talking, I butt in with...
M: Hon, teka lang ha mag-iigib lang ako ng tubig.

Man, I'm getting old.

RATIONALIZING HOMOSEXUALITY

Rationalizing Homosexual Love

This is an attempt to justify the morality of homosexual love by arguing its naturalness.

I. The Main Argument against Homosexual Love

“Homosexual love is immoral because it is unnatural.”

To properly understand the context of this main argument, we have to divide the discussion into two parts: (1) the morality of the ‘natural’; and (2) the essence of ‘heterosexual love’.

Sub-argument one: What is natural is moral.

The natural is that which is truthful and rightful since it is grounded on the ‘end’ proper to any being. This ‘end’ is defined as perfection. Thus, to follow the natural is to follow perfection.

Example: It is natural for a chick to become a chicken since by becoming a chicken the chick reaches its individual perfection.

Sub-argument two: Heterosexual love is moral because it is natural.

Heterosexual love permits the conjugal union of man and woman for the generation and education of human species (Natural Law). The naturalness of heterosexual love is based on its ordination towards pro-creation. Thus, to follow pro-creation is to follow the perfection of inter-personal love.

Implication of two sub-arguments: Homosexual love is immoral because it is unnatural. It is unnatural because it cannot pro-create.

II. The Error in the Main Argument

Now, let’s try to address the logical flaw by stating that the morality of inter-personal love can be understood by looking at either of the two facets:

1. The ‘sexual fit’ between the persons involved, that is, that the man is for the woman and the woman for the man; and

2. The love that binding the persons involved, that is, the objective aspect of inter-personal love.

III. Justifying Homosexual Love

Ando so, let’s justify the morality of homosexual love by establishing this main argument:

“Homosexual love is moral inasmuch as the love binding the persons involved follows the objective aspect of inter-personal love.”

Sub-argument: Homosexual love is moral if it perfects both the lover and the beloved.

If love is the movement of the self towards the good to attain perfection, then the objective aspect of inter-personal love (whether heterosexual or homosexual) consists in the perfection of both the lover and the beloved. Perfection entails the cultivation of character, which can only transpire in reciprocal love.

To make this part clearer, we have to consider the development of authentic inter-personal love in four phases:

1. Inter-personal love as attraction.

The lover is attracted to the beloved through his/her physical attributes. Beauty is the essential ‘mover’ of attraction since human beings are naturally attracted to that which pleases the senses.

2. Inter-personal love as desire.

The lover now wants the beloved. Desire is marked by self-centredness insofar as the lover sees the beloved as being good for himself/herself. With desire, the lover’s assessment of the beloved shifts from physical attributes to non-physical attributes like character and intelligence.

3. Inter-personal love as recognition.

The lover now sees the entire self of the beloved—what he/she truly is. This phase combines both the physical and the non-physical attributes of the beloved to form a clearer picture of his/her personhood. If desire is highlighted by choice, recognition is highlighted by acceptance.

4. Inter-personal love as reciprocity: the authentic love.

The lover and the beloved now engage in mutual relationship. Reciprocity follows self-transcendence insofar as the ‘good for the lover’ mindset is transformed into the ‘good for the beloved’ mindset.

In this light, it is only through an ‘other-centred’ perspective that reciprocity can transpire. Reciprocity provides authentic meaning to inter-personal love since it paves the way for the convergence of two persons. This convergence is both exclusive and intimate.

Through reciprocity, both the lover and the beloved become selfless since they aim for the good of each one. Through selflessness, they are able to cultivate their character and become better persons. This is the objective aspect of inter-personal love, that which makes it natural.

Conclusion: Homosexual love is natural if it follows this path to authentic love. By being able to do so, it then becomes moral.

**********

You may be surprised how different this is from the way I write. Well, it's because it's not me who wrote this. The Kid wrote this for me. A few days ago, I asked him to write something for me. This is the one he came up with. It's supposed to be about our relationship.

It made my nose bleed a little, but he's been patient with me, explaining this whole thing.

But he did end up writing something shallow for me. But I'll post it in my other home. :)