If there's one thing that scares me at this moment, it's to have another failed relationship.
Don't get me wrong, we're not on the rocks or anything. I'm quite happy and content with what we have. I go to sleep smiling, and that same smile's pasted on my lips every time I wake up (and that's not just because I have a new PS3).
I trust the kid. I know and I feel that what he has for me, it's genuine. And right now, I'm confident that this will be a long and happy relationship. We make plans for the future (and he hasn't even graduated yet).
But being born on February, crazy insecure me sometimes linger in thought. For no reason at all, some things bother me.
Fact: he is a kid. At nineteen, when you're in love you'd think that what you have at the moment is the one thing you've wanted all your life. What if one day he wakes up, and he decides, it's not enough? I'm not enough.
It scares me to think that that day will come. And it might. But that was the risk I took the day I decided to continue being his friend nine months ago. When after all the shit he put me through after Christmas, I still took him back. That after he almost broke my heart a few months ago, we still became a couple.
The fear could be a fact. I may just be paranoid.
But like I told my friend Kane, even if there is a possibility that it will happen, it doesn't mean that I'll just give up and give him a reason to leave me.
I've been saying, he could be the one. Two months in, and nothing's changed. Scratch that. There is one thing: I love him more.
5 months ago